I'm awesome at avoidance. Or, more precisely, "out of sight, out of mind" is an accurate cliche on my part.
Why do I do it? I wish I knew.
I need to stop, though. It's getting out of hand. I never deal with things. I ignore as much as I can, then quickly forget about it. Or I reason it away, telling myself it's not that big of a deal.
But sometimes? It is a big deal. Sometimes it hurts. At some point, I need to be able to stand up for myself. Let my opinion be known. Deal with issues head on.
Instead, I give myself time to calm down. If I have an disagreement with someone, I try to get out of it as soon as possible, then I sleep on it. The next day, the anger's gone. Which can be a good thing, I understand. I don't hold grudges, I don't often get irrationally angry.
I'm continually surprised and hurt when people don't take their second chances seriously. My guess is that they know I'll give them a third, fourth, and fifth chance. What's the line between not holding grudges and making the same mistakes? I don't know. I'm pretty sure I just let people walk all over me, though, because I'd rather ignore and forget than be confrontational.
How much of yourself do you lose when you let yourself be perpetually ignored?
Wednesday, April 29, 2009 | | 7 Comments
Last night my boyfriend took me to see An Evening With David Sedaris. He first heard about it because NPR was having some sort of listener presale, and he knows how much of a fan I am.
I should point out that although this is an awesome gesture, it wasn't done for fully selfless reasons. Every time I read a David Sedaris book, I go on and on about how much he would like it, and he's not much of a reader. So his getting the tickets was his way of getting out of having to actually *gasp* read a book.
I wasn't sure what to expect, because I'd never been to an event like this before. Sure, I've seen authors speak, but not at such a large scale. It was held at the symphony hall, which seats quite a few people.
The first thing that happened was David was sitting right by the door signing books, so he was the first person I saw. I didn't get a book signed because the line wrapped around the lobby twice, and I was more intrigued by the line at the bar (and the booth that sold cake). But, I was less than ten feet away from one of my favorite authors, so that's cool.
The show was really funny. As I said, I wasn't sure what to expect, but basically he just told stories. It was like seeing a really, really intelligent comedian. If you're familiar with his work, you know how funny he is, but it's even funnier hearing his delivery. It wasn't stuff from the books either, it was new material.
At the end he opened it up for questions, and he was just as humorous and charming in his spontaneous answers as he was in his rehearsed stories.
If you get a chance to see him talk, I highly recommend it. And if you haven't read any of his works, you should really check him out. He's by far my favorite memoirist (you know, from the giant pool of successful memoirists I have to choose from).
Also, how great is it that a giant place like the Powell Symphony Hall sells out for an author? I'm glad people are willing to miss American Idol and Lost for one night (or tivo them) to go experience a great event like this.
Thursday, April 23, 2009 | | 8 Comments
I don't want to be one of those girls that bitches about their boyfriend publicly, but he really made me angry yesterday.
Long story short(ish), his parents are talking about moving to the country, and they'd sell him their house for a very, very reasonable price. His parents have talked about moving to the country multiple times with nothing happening, so I'm not holding my breath.
He didn't mention anything about me moving in with him, which is okay. Honestly, I don't really want to. He needs some time to live on his own and learn to be independent. I'm worried if we lived together, he'd just depend on me to do everything for him, and I don't have the time or the patience to take care of both of us. I have enough trouble taking care of myself. He needs to figure out how to do his own laundry and clean his own bathroom before we can co-exist peacefully.
But anyway, yesterday we were talking about what his budget would be. He said he's not sure if he would be able to afford it, unless I wanted to move in and pay for part of it.
Is that the way you approach asking your girlfriend to move in with you? And admit that the only reason you're asking is because you need her money? (Which, let's face it. I work part time retail. What money?)
Then when I got mad, he said he hadn't asked because he didn't think I'd want to move in with him.
When I told him I didn't want to live with him, he got offended. I explained my reasons to him, which he totally understood, because even he knows he's irresponsible.
Maybe we can live together after we've dated for seven or eight years, we're clearly not ready after six.
Thursday, April 09, 2009 | | 7 Comments