Yesterday my boyfriend had food poisoning and spent all day throwing up. Here's a string of texts we sent each other last night. I'm nothing if not a supportive girlfriend.
Mike: (5:34) I threw up again. Say kind things at my funeral.
Amanda: (5:35) You want me to lie?
M: (5:40) Of course
A: (7:02) Are you still alive?
(7:17) I guess you're dead then. I'm sad that you died.
(7:21) I've started working on your eulogy. It's going to be legen
(7:32) While I'm speaking, I'll put 20 seconds on the clock to see how many comments I can come up with
(7:39) I'll eat buffalo wings while I do it as an homage to your love of chicken.
(7:42) I'll get the sauceless kind from KFC because I know you don't like to be messy.
(7:46) Plus, I need to look good because I'll be trolling for a new boyfriend and can't do that with sauce on my face.
M: (7:50) Not dead.
A: (7:51) Do you mean like undead? Because I have a plan of attack if need be.
M: (7:56) Not a zombie. Just throwing up.
A: (7:58) Huh. Well, that's anticlimactic.
Friday, January 21, 2011 | | 6 Comments
I'm not a great driver under the best of scenarios. I always park far away from places so I don't have to deal with parking by other cars. I've never once in my life parallel parked. I both work and attend classes within a five mile radius of my home.
Or at least I did, until this semester. This semester I have to take an art history class on the campus that's about twenty miles from my house. I know that doesn't sound like a lot, and it's not. But for me, it's much further than I care to drive. Especially during rush hour, since my class starts at seven.
So of course, tonight, my first night at this campus, it snows. Of course. Have I mentioned that I suck at driving in the snow? In my defense, it doesn't snow here all that often. I mean, it does. But not in great quantities. I sucked it up, cleaned my car off, and got ready to drive.
While I was stopped at the light leading out of the parking lot, I realized I forgot to clean my side mirror off. I rolled my window down, brushed off the snow, and rolled my window back up.
Only I didn't. My window was/is stuck.
I had to drive home the twenty plus miles in a snowstorm with my window rolled down.
I started off on the highway, but it was too cold and windy. So I had to drive it down the regular roads. All in all, it took about an hour to get home.
My car door is now wrapped in old towels and a trash bag.
My left side is still cold.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011 | | 5 Comments