For one, I would like to point out that my orchid is still alive. I mean, I think. I haven't looked at it recently. I did water it. Last week. Once. I'm so great at taking care of things.

Like my car. I was at the grocery store this afternoon to buy a six pack and the ingredients for rice krispie treats (WHY CANT I LOSE WEIGHT?). When I got to the car, I sat in the drivers seat and moved to put the groceries in the passenger seat, when the bottom of the six pack gave out. A bottle bounced off my console and broke, sending glass and beer all over the front of my car. And me.

I was soaked, so I didn't want to get back out of the car looking like I peed my pants. I drove home covered in beer and glass, trying not to move.

It took me a while to clean up the glass and beer, and I sliced my finger open on a shard. The smell of hefeweizen has really soaked into the car. So far I've sprayed the hell out of it with frebreze and I have the windows rolled down, hoping to air it out. Let's just hope I don't get pulled over for a very long time.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have a pan of rice krispie treats to eat.

UPDATE: Ugh! I went to water the freaking orchid after writing this. I guess I overwatered it, and now everything around it is soaked, including the mail and the box of rice krispies. FAIL.