I Really See You Upside Down

I don't want to be one of those girls that bitches about their boyfriend publicly, but he really made me angry yesterday.

Long story short(ish), his parents are talking about moving to the country, and they'd sell him their house for a very, very reasonable price. His parents have talked about moving to the country multiple times with nothing happening, so I'm not holding my breath.

He didn't mention anything about me moving in with him, which is okay. Honestly, I don't really want to. He needs some time to live on his own and learn to be independent. I'm worried if we lived together, he'd just depend on me to do everything for him, and I don't have the time or the patience to take care of both of us. I have enough trouble taking care of myself. He needs to figure out how to do his own laundry and clean his own bathroom before we can co-exist peacefully.

But anyway, yesterday we were talking about what his budget would be. He said he's not sure if he would be able to afford it, unless I wanted to move in and pay for part of it.

Excuse me?

Is that the way you approach asking your girlfriend to move in with you? And admit that the only reason you're asking is because you need her money? (Which, let's face it. I work part time retail. What money?)

Then when I got mad, he said he hadn't asked because he didn't think I'd want to move in with him.

When I told him I didn't want to live with him, he got offended. I explained my reasons to him, which he totally understood, because even he knows he's irresponsible.

Maybe we can live together after we've dated for seven or eight years, we're clearly not ready after six.


Avitable said...

That is a bit insensitive on his part.

Robin said...

Guys are so good at saying the wrong thing at the wrong time to the wrong person. Sigh. I'm glad you are taking this seriously and thinking about it all, most girls would just move in. Hell I moved in with MM after like a month of dating and he was still married.

Poppy said...

I hope you realize it's not about the number of years you're together, but rather the points you each are in your life. I mean, jeez, if you'd met and started dating when you were 12 and it was 6 years you'd just be legal to vote. Who wants to move in with someone so soon into adulthood? So, perspective.

But, yah, that was jerky. Is he introverted? I seem to recall that being his lot in life. Introverted people seem to say a higher quantity of awkwardly worded phrases.

Amanda said...

Avitable- He's good at that sometimes

Robin- I want it to work, so I'm trying to be careful and think things through. Erik was also, what? 35? something like that? I'm sure he at least could do his own laundry at that point

Poppy- I know it's not the years, specifically, but it's still a long time to be together without wanting any more commitment. After awhile you have to start wondering what's wrong. And yes, he's pretty introverted

Josh said...

You could write a book with all the things he says like that. Really.

I guess that is what I would call progress. He's slowly working on it. He just needs to start thinking before he says things. I suggest "Would what I'm about to say make Mandy upset?" That just might work.

Poppy said...

This is not a shit stirring question, it's a question that puts you first: Where do you see yourself in 10 years, and is he in that picture?

Amanda said...

Josh- I truly don't think he's intentionally an ass. It's just kind of his nature

Poppy- He's definitely there