Dead or Alive

Yesterday my boyfriend had food poisoning and spent all day throwing up. Here's a string of texts we sent each other last night. I'm nothing if not a supportive girlfriend.

Mike: (5:34) I threw up again. Say kind things at my funeral.

Amanda:  (5:35) You want me to lie?

M: (5:40) Of course

A:  (7:02) Are you still alive?

     (7:17) I guess you're dead then. I'm sad that you died.

     (7:21) I've started working on your eulogy. It's going to be legen

     (7:25) dary

     (7:32) While I'm speaking, I'll put 20 seconds on the clock to see how many comments I can come up with

     (7:39) I'll eat buffalo wings while I do it as an homage to your love of chicken.

     (7:42) I'll get the sauceless kind from KFC because I know you don't like to be messy.

     (7:46)  Plus, I need to look good because I'll be trolling for a new boyfriend and can't do that with sauce on my face.

M: (7:50) Not dead.

A: (7:51) Do you mean like undead? Because I have a plan of attack if need be.

M: (7:56) Not a zombie. Just throwing up.

A: (7:58) Huh. Well, that's anticlimactic.


In The Car

I'm not a great driver under the best of scenarios. I always park far away from places so I don't have to deal with parking by other cars. I've never once in my life parallel parked.  I both work and attend classes within a five mile radius of my home.

Or at least I did, until this semester. This semester I have to take an art history class on the campus that's about twenty miles from my house. I know that doesn't sound like a lot, and it's not. But for me, it's much further than I care to drive.  Especially during rush hour, since my class starts at seven.

So of course, tonight, my first night at this campus, it snows. Of course. Have I mentioned that I suck at driving in the snow? In my defense, it doesn't snow here all that often. I mean, it does. But not in great quantities. I sucked it up, cleaned my car off, and got ready to drive.

While I was stopped at the light leading out of the parking lot, I realized I forgot to clean my side mirror off. I rolled my window down, brushed off the snow, and rolled my window back up.

Only I didn't. My window was/is stuck.

I had to drive home the twenty plus miles in a snowstorm with my window rolled down.

I started off on the highway, but it was too cold and windy. So I had to drive it down the regular roads. All in all, it took about an hour to get home.

My car door is now wrapped in old towels and a trash bag. 

My left side is still cold.