I Think I'll Have Myself A Beer

A Short Pictorial Essay of My Evening, Entitled Oktoberfest


Who Did You Think I Was?

Find out what heroes character are you at LiquidGeneration.com!

Bound for Colorado

I am a loser. In two weeks my boyfriend and I are heading to Colorado as an early birthday present to me (my birthday is November 13th, get shopping). So I'm getting driving directions on Rand McNally to all possible points of interest from the hotel. And directions from Houston's in Kansas City to the hotel because heaven forbid we pass through a city with a Houston's without stopping for steak.

Once I have them all together, I will print them and then organize them into a binder. Granted, my boyfriend's mom got us this "travel folder" on the first big trip he and I took together, but I still use it. That's right. I have a travel folder. She's provided maps for most of the Midwest, along with pencils and paper. Honestly, I can hardly read a map, that's why I get printed directions.

Anyway, it should be a good trip. We have tickets to a Who's Line show in Denver featuring Colin Mochrie and Brad Sherwood. The leaves should be beautiful and the weather fairly cold, like I like it. It's still 90 here, so actual fall weather might be nice. We're also planning on going to Pike's Peak, Royal Gorge, and several other places like that. Anywhere else we should go in the Denver/Colorado Springs area?

Give Up Your Life, Cause You Cannot Fight the Television

I don’t know how much I’ll be around this week. I have an onslaught of test and projects due. Then again, I’m typing instead of studying, so that shows how determined I am to cram. It’s hard for me to fit school work around my TV schedule, with almost all my shows starting up this week. Damn school.

First, a question:

What is the foam washer at the top of the CD spindle, and why do I take it off, grab a cd, and then put it back on?

Now, to my reviews:

Chuck: Chuck premiered tonight on NBC. It’s about a “Nerd Herd” employee who inadvertently downloads the government’s secrets into his head when his college roommate emails them to him. The show seems pretty promising. It has comedy and a geeky-yet-still-attractive guy for me, action, drama, and a hot girl for my boyfriend. It was shot really well, acted well, and has a ton of room for a good plot. I guess we’ll see, but I’m hopeful it will turn out well.

Heroes- I don’t want to give anything away, if you haven’t seen it yet, but its back and as good as ever. I spent the whole episode worried about my boyfriend, Peter. They introduced new heroes, including one with the King Midas touch. If you’re not already watching this show, you need to be.

How I Met Your Mother- Robin comes back from Argentina with a hot masseuse, and Ted is worried that she’s winning the breakup, so he goes to a bar and picks up a tattooed Mandy Moore. It’s as funny as ever, and Barney is in his prime as Ted’s wingman. Ted gets a sweet tramp stamp of a butterfly, and there’s a glimpse of Ted’s future lady with a yellow umbrella.

Everybody Get Together

Today I want to ask you all for a favor. The funniest blogger in the world is in a race for the best humor blog award through the Blogger's Choice Awards. So please go here to vote for him. Yes, you have to register and confirm your email, but it's so worth it. Mr. Fab deserves to win. He'd do it for you. And I'm pretty sure he'll give you sexual favors if you vote for him. Well, he might do that anyway. Go vote!

Short and Sweet to the Soul is All I Intend

So, I know I was interviewed last week by TV's Mr Fabulous, but when the opportunity to be interviewed by the infamous Avitable came around, I couldn't pass. Anyway, I know you all want to know more about me. I'm fascinating. If you want to be interviewed by me, let me know in the comments.

1. So, you live at home. Now does this make it difficult to have dirty monkey sex with your boyfriend, or do you just lock the basement door and ask your mom to stop trying to come down and do laundry?
It does make it challenging, but there's always ways around this. Nothing can stand in the way when I want to have sex

2. Which of these three television shows did you like the most, and who was your favorite character? Your choices are Veronica Mars, Battlestar Galactica, or 30 Rock. If you don't watch any of these, please try to explain why I should like you anymore.
Absolutely Veronica Mars. I think Logan was my favorite character, his sarcasm astounded me. He was such a screw up and an ass, but it was hard not to love him. He really tried, you know? I was so angry that the dumbasses as the CW canceled it. At least Kristen Bell will be on Heroes. I'm still pretty angry, actually.

3. Which actor and actress would you like to sleep with, and do you think you could convince them to sleep with me, too?
If I could pick a TV couple, it would either be Logan and Veronica or Jess and Rory. Hm, or Logan and Rory. That's tough. If it were a real life couple, it would be Sascha Baron Cohen and Isla Fisher (once she has the kid. I don't want to sleep with a pregnant lady) I will try my hardest to get them to sleep with you as well.

4. In your profile picture, you look gothy. Are you gothy? Emo? Straight edge? Punk?
Definitely not gothy. Or Emo. Or Punk. And I don't know what straight edge is, I'm not very hip (Do the kids still say hip?) I'm sadly pretty preppy. It comes from growing up where I grew up. Yes, I like the Gap and Banana Republic. The picture's just dark because I didn't have the flash on, my shirt is cranberry.

5. If we hung out, what would we talk about all night long? What would we drink? And what would I be wearing?
I think we could talk and cry about the dumbasses at the CW. Veronica Mars and Gilmore Girls. I'm a beer drinker, but I like vodka-sprites as well. I assume you would be wearing shorts with holes in them, right?

I Think the Finish Line's A Good Place We Could Start

Yay we don't suck so bad! I love dating a guy who works for a rich company. Tonight we had the firm's front row on the third baseline tickets to the Cards-Phillies game. We actually won! It's so much better when we win, we lost the last several games I've been to, I was beginning to think I was a jinx. Also, I'm a little buzzed right now. You have to drink at a ballgame, right? Anyway,I'm pretty sure the third base coach is grabbing Yadier Molina's ass here, but I would too if I were him because Yadie hit the walk off single in the 10th inning.

Dream a Scene to Brighten Face

Thanks to Avitable (*okay I can't get the links to work, so the address is avitable.com) and others, I’ve seen lots of bloggers list their top movies. I’ve been thinking and thinking about my favorites. I am a movie whore, and a former Blockbuster employee. While at Blockbuster, I would get five free rentals a week, and generally I would watch all of them (plus I was sleeping with my manager, who also got five free a week. Relax, it’s my boyfriend. I’m a movie whore, not a total whore). We go see at least one movie a week in the theater, often two or three. So for me to pick my favorite movies is a hard endeavor. But here goes….. These aren’t in order, because that’s subjective depending on my mood. I tried to do a top ten, but fifteen was as close as I could get. Don't make fun of my choices too much, I'm VERY SENSITIVE. Screw you. Anyway, what are your favorites?

The Big Lebowski (1998)- Come on… The Dude. What’s not to love?

Billy Madison (1995) - My brother and I drove my poor mother crazy quoting this movie growing up. What can I say? It’s still hilarious thirteen years later.

Dogma (1999)- Genius. I love all that Kevin Smith does (yes, I even like Jersey Girl) but this is the smartest, best directed one of all of them.

A Christmas Story (1983)- It’s a classic. It’s not Christmas Eve until I watch this on TNT (or is it TBS?) even though I have it on dvd.

The Harry Potter Series (2001-)- I can’t pick just one, because I love them all for different reasons.

The Girl Next Door (2004)- The best romantic comedy to come out in a long long time. It was greatly under appreciated.

Dirty Dancing (1987)- Yes, I know. But my mom and cousins made me watch it a million times as a kid (I was three when it came out) and it’s something I love. It reminds me of my childhood (Is that bad?)

The Princess Bride (1987)- It’s epic. Wesley and Buttercup are my favorite movie couple of all time. Also the book is fantastic.

The Notebook (2004)- I know its cheesy, but I love Noah. It’s a great movie and a great book.

Walk the Line (2005)- Probably the only biographical movie I’ve ever liked.

Monster’s Inc (2001)- My favorite animated movie of all time. Boo is the cutest thing ever drawn.

Sixteen Candles (1984)- Another childhood favorite. As early teens, we would watch this (and everything else John Hughes) every practically every weekend.

Saved! (2004)- Smart, smart movie. Another one that was greatly under appreciated.

Roman Holiday (1953)- It’s probably the only movie older than me that I really like, but I think it’s timeless.

Office Space (1999)- I don’t need to explain this one, you all know that it’s great.

***I've only had this posted for a minute and I'm already regretting not having Borat on there. I'm sure I'll think of more, I may have to do another post***

It Just Don't Feel Like Christmas

It's that time of year.

I was dragged to the evil Walmart with my mom this morning. Its not a place I generally care to shop, being as how Walmart is the devil and whatnot. But sometimes my mom's guilt trips are hard to ignore, especially when I've just woken up and I'm trying to eat my damn leftover pizza for breakfast in PEACE and I'll say anything to get this peace. What was I saying? Oh yeah, so I was at Walmart, and guess what I saw?

Christmas decorations. That's right. Christmas. Although its not for another 3 1/2 months, its already begun.

This is Halloween, Everyone Scream

Halloween: A brief review

I'm going to skip all the details, because hopefully you know the plot of Halloween. This version is directed by Rob Zombie.

I thought it was alright. I haven't seen the original since I was about ten, so I don't really remember it too well, so I can't really compare the two. It was shot really well, it was acted really well, it just wasn't particularly scary, which is alright. From what I understand, it's a lot like the first one. It probably wasn't necessary to remake it and not change much. Overall, I'd say it was good. Just not scary. Except for the kid who played young Mike Meyers. He creeped me the fuck out. Also, he wore a clown mask, and clowns are scary as hell.

Skydive Naked From An Aeroplane

Tonight I had the dubious honor of seeing Shoot 'Em Up. I do like action movies, as long as there's somewhat of an interesting story to go with it. I also like satires most of the time.

Shoot ‘Em Up is a about a man named Mr. Smith (Clive Own) who witnesses men with guns chasing after a very pregnant woman who’s giving birth. While trying to rescue her and simultaneously delivering the baby, he fails to protect the woman and she dies. He then tries to figure out who the men were and why they wanted the baby. He teams up with a prostitute to save the baby from Mr. Herz (Paul Giamatti) in an action-packed movie that puts bizarre to a new level.

Shoot ‘Em Up bills itself as an action movie, and that’s all it was. There was no great story, there wasn’t character development, or even a sub plot. If you view it solely as an action movie, and nothing else, then it’s probably pretty good. Unfortunately, I didn’t go in thinking just an action movie. I knew it was supposed to be farcical, but it wasn’t funny.

It went quickly from farce to redonkulous. It’s pretty bad when you get bored halfway though a 90 minute movie. It’s not that it was bad so much as it was repetitive. Clive Owen did a good job (or maybe he didn’t, who can tell? I just like to look at him) but there’s only so much you can do with a carrot eating vigilante who says things like “Eat your vegetables” after stabbing someone with a carrot. Paul Giamatti, who I normally like, was overacting and annoying. He had a weird accent that I couldn't place, I think it was just self important actor.

Bottom line, if you like strictly action, it’s probably a good movie for you. As long as unbelievable plots, bad acting, not funny comedy, and repetitive jokes about shooting your load don’t bother you.

My favorite part was the Motley Crue song they played at the end.

***Sidenote: Anyone else excited that Jon Stewart's hosting the Oscars? I love Ellen but I LOVE Jon Stewart.***

With the Great, Great Monkey Plan

*taken through my piece of shit camera phone

My boyfriend and I went to a winery for lunch on Sunday, because I like places where not only is it okay to drink at lunch, but I'm pretty sure it's expected. This green plastic monkey came hooked on my wine. I looked at the other patrons and no one else had monkeys on their cocktails. Is it me? I know I look young, but they didn't ID me, so clearly they thought I was old enough to drink. Maybe the bartender thought I was cute. She wasn't really my type, but I always appreciate the attention. And plastic monkeys.

Also, seeing as how it's still September 11th for another few hours, Miss Britt has a great post on the subject that I agree with wholeheartedly, so go read her post .

Everytime They Turn the Lights Down

Did you all catch the VMAs? No? Well, you lucked out. I tuned in initially to see Britney's performance. I'm not a big Britney fan, but recently, she cracks me up. Her performance was hilarious. I want to know what kind of drugs she's on, because I would like to try them. She seemingly sleepwalked through the whole performance, missing words while she lip-synced, and barely danced. Also, she was by no means fat, but if I were her I wouldn't have been wearing no top on national television.

The rest of the show made me sad. I know I'm not old, but I only knew who half of the artists were. Maybe I'm just too cool for the MTV crowd. Yeah, I bet that's it. Also, I think Sarah Silverman's funny, but she's always so mean when she hosts award shows. She's actually made me feel bad for Britney and Paris. And that's a great feat.

I Thought I Knew You, What Did I Know?

One of the coolest, most bad-ass bloggers bestowed an interview on me. That's right, kiddies, Mr. Fabulous of Pointless Drivel fame (infamy?) provided me with these in depth questions, so you can see the real me. Not all of me, of course, because then I would be naked. Thanks Mr. Fab!

1. You started your blog very recently. Obviously it is the first step of your fourteen point plan to get me to notice you, woo you, and marry you. Do think that's a wise move given the vast difference in our ages?

How did you know? Am I that transparent? I thought I was hiding my feelings much better than that. Love can overcome age. One day, we will be together. Well, what am I supposed to do? You won't answer my calls, you change your number. I mean, I'm not gonna be ignored, Dan. I mean, Fab.

2. You are an art student. Is that the career with the lowest salary structure you could think of? Were the classes on migrant farm working all full up?

I considered migrant farm working, but I don't like dirt. And I don't speak Spanish. And I could break a nail.

3. Those bands you list in your profile as your favorites, are they even really bands? I never heard of them. What is wrong with you damn kids today? You should be listening to The Clash or Bruce Springsteen.

I don't think either has been popular since I've been alive. Well, maybe Springsteen. But only when I was a small child.

4. As a young person, just how much crack DO you smoke in a given week, and where do you get the money for it?

I work the streets. A girl has to have her crack, and selling myself is the easiest, most effective way. I don't take cash as a payment, just crack. And paraphernalia.

5. How much would you charge to paint a nude portrait of me, and would it cost extra to have a few inches tacked on to my johnson?

I would paint a nude portrait of you for absolutely free. And as the artist, I can use creative licensing, so adding a few inches shouldn't be a problem. How many do you need? 2? 6?

Soy un perdedor

My worst nightmare came true today.

Yes, I am an art student. But more specifically, I am an interior design major. I'm not getting my degree in ceramics or anything like that. I don't think my artwork is ironic, I don't wear black all the time, I don't walk around with a ponytail, glasses, and paint stained overalls like the chick in Not Another Teen Movie. I don't talk much about my art, because I work in a medical field, and people are always asking me if I'm in school for it, then I have to explain that no, I'm an art student, this is just a job. (And by the way, why does every freaking patient that walks through the door feel the need to grill me over my personal life? I have a mother for that.)

Anyway, I'm taking a History of Cultural Environments class. It sounds stupid, but its actually pretty interesting. To me. I wouldn't expect it to be interesting to anyone else, don't worry. But one of the first assignments of this semester was to go to the art museum and see the special Napoleon exhibit.

Okay, whatever. I like the Art Museum. Its nice, its free, and for such a white-trash loving town, its actually fairly decent. Van Gogh and Monet and whatnot.

The bitch of it was, I had to draw a piece of furniture and a textile. Yes, I was at the Art Musuem, with my sketch book and my pencils. People kept staring at me, because I am a freak. I drew very quickly and then re-drew it at home later, but God. I am officially one of those people.

Life These Days is Getting Rough

I can admit (although I rarely do) that I am a pop culture junkie. I subscribe to People, I see at least one movie a week in the theater and rent 3 movies, I watch t.v. pretty much constantly, I even own multiple pop culture themed board games. When online, I always check TMZ, I Don’t like You In That Way, and several others.

So why, why, am I always so surprised by celebrity antics? What? Lindsay Lohan is a coke whore? Okay, so that one surprised no one. But I am always surprised and a little saddened when certain celebrity couples split. Brad and Jen, Hilary and Chad, Ryan and Reece.

But most surprising to me was Jenna Fischer and James Gunn. Pam Beesly just can’t catch a break. Jim totally still loves her, way more than he ever like Karen. I bet you a 100 Schrute bucks they finally will put them together. They do, after all, have a “date.”

All in All Its Just Another Day Now

So, I thought tonight I would talk about what I want with this blog. Mostly it will be general ramblings, but it will also contain reviews of movies and cds, as that is all I do. Watch movies and listen to music. It may from time to time contain things from my portfolio; sketches, paintings, etc, but mostly I don’t want to bore you with that.

Then I realized how boring that would be if I all I did was talk about what I want to do, instead of doing something. So tonight I bring you my review of The Ten. The Ten is a movie consisting of ten vignettes, each about one of the Ten Commandments. It is narrated by Jeff Reigert (played by the always wonderful Paul Rudd) who is also involved in his own broken commandment, adultery. His wife is played by Famke Janssen and his girlfriend by Jessica Alba. Also starring are Adam Brody, Liev Schreiber, Ken Marino (who also co-wrote), Oliver Platt, and many more. It was co-written and directed by David Wain (Stella, Wet Hot American Summer).

I thought it was freaking hilarious. The cast alone was enough reason to love it (although Alba still hasn’t impressed me with anything she’s done, but at least she played the immature spoiled girlfriend better than Sue Storm), but it was also well written and smart. Who doesn’t love a good dark biblical comedy? There was no religious content aside from the commandments, but there was prison rape, sex with a ventriloquist dummy, and leaving a surgical instrument in a patient, just for a goof. Overall, I’d recommend it to anyone who likes comedies and are ready to see something without all the same fart/penis/sex/drinking jokes. Not that I don’t love those.

We Hope You Enjoy Your Stay

This is the first post of my new blog, Amanda In Real Life. I have never had a blog before, so this is a learning process for me. Pointers, anyone? Just to tell you a little bit about myself, I'm a 22 year old art student, still living at home with my mom. I have a boyfriend of more than four years. No, we're not getting married anytime soon. Stop asking. Nor are we in any hurry to move in with each other. I like seeing movies with The Boyfriend, listening to music, and watching t.v. Oh, and drinking. I love to drink.