And They Say "'Tis the Season To Be Jolly"

Stolen from LeSombre

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags?
Usually wrapping paper- I like to make everything pretty. I'm excellent with ribbon and bows.

2. Real tree or Artificial?
Artificial- I don't want to kill a tree every year, plus it's a lot easier. And I'm allergic.

3. When do you put up the tree?
If it were up to me, probably never.

4. When do you take the tree down?
New Years-ish

5. Do you like eggnog?
I'm sure it's what evil tastes like

6. Favorite gift received as a child?
I always liked getting clothes and earrings and whatnot.

7. Hardest person to buy for?
My boyfriend, if he wants or needs anything, he buys it for himself.

8. Easiest person to buy for?
My mom or my brother. My mom is happy with anything, and my brother always wants some sort of DVD or videogame.

9. Do you have a nativity scene?
I surely do not

10. Mail or email Christmas cards?
Mail, I think it's nice to spend the time and effort.

11. Worst Christmas gift you ever received?
I really can't think of anything, I'm easy to please

12. Favorite Christmas Movie?
A Christmas Story, of course.

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas?
October or November. I usually have it done before December because I hate the crowds. I failed this year.

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present?
No, I haven't. I usually like anything I get

15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas?
Cookies and pie. And ham.

16. Lights on the tree?
Duh, of course.

17. Favorite Christmas song?
Elf’s Lament, by the Barenaked Ladies or Carol of the Bells

18. Travel at Christmas or stay home?
I wish I could stay home, instead we go to 7 different present opening things. It's exhausting.

19. Can you name all of Santa’s reindeer?
Of couse

20. Angel on the tree top or a star?
If I had a tree, I'd put a star. My mom puts an angel on.

21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning?
Christmas morning of course. It's always been what we do, and my boyfriend is even more emphatic about this.

22. Most annoying thing about this time of the year?
The crowds, and people get so cranky.

23. Favorite ornament theme or color?
Silver and clear, no color.

24. Favorite for Christmas dinner?
We usually have a ham and thanksgiving-type sides.

25. What do you want for Christmas?
A pony. Or for Pushing Daisies to be uncanceled.

Like A Little Drop Of Ink In A Glass Of Water

You may all remember the interview meme that went around last year, and Avitable decided to resurrect it. He asked me questions before, more than a year ago, and I thought it would be fun to do it again.

1. Shouldn't you be getting married and start popping out kids soon?

I'll have one when you have one. And no, I don't mean Amy. I mean when a baby comes out of your vagina, I'll push one out of mine.

2. As a corollary to #1, when one of the kids looks like me, will your boyfriend mind?

He's a fairly hairy guy, I might be able to convince him it's his.

3. Tell me about a band that I don't even know exists and am missing out on experiencing.

I would love to. For starters, Editors. They're sort of a modern Joy Division, but I like them a lot better. Oh, and Starsailor. They're like Echo and the Bunnymen meets Coldplay. Doves are always good. The National always relaxes me.

Oh, and if you like quirky indie rock (which I believe you all should) I highly recommend The Decemberists. The lyrics are outstanding.

4. Since Missouri is the "Show Me" state, what will you show me?

That depends, of course, on how much I've had to drink.

5. If you had to choose between never seeing a movie or listening to music again, or never having sex with another person again, which would you choose?

I know this isn't going to be the popular choice, but I'd pick music and movies. I can get off watching movies by myself if need be. It would be tough, but I could do it. Not listening to music or seeing movies would probably kill me.

Want to be part of it? Follow these instructions:
1. Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me."
2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

Show Me What I'm Looking For

I've been trying to come up with a list of deal-breakers for quite awhile. I like to jump on bandwagons, and everyone's been been talking about their deal breakers in relationships.

It turns out I'm not that picky, because this took me a really long time to come up with.

1. Bigotry- This is probably my most important. I can accept almost anything, but what I can't accept is discrimination (and yes, I count being against marriage for everyone as bigotry and discrimination). I'm a big fan of letting people live freely.

2. Not able to support himself- I don't expect a millionaire, but I like going out to eat and seeing movies. I know it's shallow, but I'm used to living comfortably.

3. No sense of humor- I don't expect a Mitch Hedberg, but you need to at least be able to appreciate other people's jokes. Life is too long to take so seriously.

4. Not able to stand up to me- I like to be pushy, but I take being told no pretty well also. I need you to be able to tell me no. Everyone thinks I'm the controlling one in my relationship, but it's pretty darn balanced. I'm just more vocal.

5. Not independent- I don't care it it's me, or his mother, or his church, I need someone who is able to think and act on his own. There's not much that bothers me more than someone who is willing to follow blindly. There's nothing wrong with thinking freely. This includes momma's boys. Seriously, dude, grow up.

I think that's it. I've dated all sorts of different guys, I wouldn't say I have a type. Tall, short, fat, thin, smart, dumb, Catholic, protestant, Democrat, Republican, I've dated you all.

Just Because I'm Losing Doesn't Mean I'm Lost

I've never been as overwhelmed in a class as I am right now. In case I haven't complained enough, I hate this architecture class. I've never wanted to be an architect. Not even in a "Hmm, that wouldn't suck" sort of way. I've always thought it would suck. The attention to detail/anal retentive nature is way too much for me, and I am god-damned anal retentive.

As of tomorrow, I need to have four elevations, a construction-ready floorplan, site plan, vicinity map, construction details, door schedule, door elevations, wall section, and two details done. For the most part, they are. I actually thought I was done and I printed everything out and I was ready to go. Then my boyfriend noticed I had lettered my windows wrong, so I had to re-do every drawing.

I don't know when I'll get to print it all out, but I guess I'll figure it out.

Here's part of what I'm working on- I don't know why the fascia and trim work look shingled here, it looks white in Sketch-up, so whatever.

So that's why I haven't been around to comment on your blogs. I've been reading though, I promise. It's also why I never see my boyfriend and don't sleep anymore.

As soon as I'm done with this, I'll have more time to stress about the holidays.

If There's A Rocket Tie Me To It

First of all, (Sorry, Britt) I need your address so I can send out my holiday cards. I think I only have the current address for about three of you, so please email me at Amanda234 AT gmail DOT com because I would love to send each of you a card. I really really would. Thank you.

I've spent a total of about eight hours working on the picture above in SketchUp, and it's still not close to being finished. I need to get rid of the line on the wall (when I erase it the whole wall falls apart) and add soffit. And hard ware. And I'm sure a ton of other things.

I've spend this whole semester procrastinating because December seemed like a such a long way away. In this class, the whole grade is essentially based on designing and presenting a house. There are only three times in the whole semester we get grades for this, so each point is pretty important. I was never worried because really? December? That's a long way away. Except for that the entire thing is due TWO WEEKS from yesterday. Good lord.

It's not like it's an easy two weeks either, the only days I have off work between now and then are tomorrow, Thanksgiving, and the Saturday after Thanksgiving (because I'll be at a wedding).

I forsee a serious lack of sleep in my future. Stupid procrastination.

I Guess This Is Growing Up

Making birthday plans as an adult kind of sucks. Remember when you were a kid, and your birthday was all that mattered? Apparently, your 24th birthday is not that big of a deal. And I don't really want it to be either.

Previously, I've always not gone to class on my birthday, so I could spend the day doing my favorite thing (wearing pajamas and watching television). This year, I really need to go to class because of the intense course load. So I'll be spending most of my birthday day hunched over a drafting table.

Then, my boyfriend has an exam in his ecology class in the evening so I won't even see him until after 8. Sure, I could just go out with friends, but he's the one I want to spend my birthday with. So we'll go to a late-ish dinner, but I can't even stay out that late because I have to work on Friday, and I do much better when I'm not exhausted and hungover.

Oh well. It won't be that bad. At least I have someone to be upset with for not spending time with me on my birthday, I suppose. I think I'll let this one slide, but my 25th birthday had better be fucking huge.

In This Bittersweet Now

I'm sorry to talk about the election, I really am. I know you're all electioned out. You don't have to read it if you don't want to, of course. And to be honest, it's kind of a downer. But I feel so mixed up right now. Or, a better word, bittersweet.

On one hand, all of the people/issues I voted for passed, which has never happened before. I've never voted for a winner (except for one senate race). My candidate for governor, Jay Nixon, won by a landslide (with 57% of the votes, I believe). Both of the issues I really cared about in my state (Proposition A which changed the rules about gambling, giving schools a shit ton more money, and Prop C, which had to do with renewable energy) both passed overwhelmingly.

And, of course, some dude won some race for president. I can't begin to describe the elation I felt when CNN first projected Obama as the winner. I immediately began crying because that's the only way I could get it out. I then saw MSNBC and Foxnews also report him the winner, and knew it had really happened. We had really voted for change. We had really voted against the tyranny and against four more years of the same failed policies.

And yes, we voted for a black man, which is huge. I personally didn't vote for or against him because of the color of his skin, but I understand some people did. If I were going to vote for someone based on a physical attribute, I would have voted for Hilary in the primaries. But I didn't.

And yet, along with the elation I felt, I also felt sorrow. Sorrow for John McCain. He was perfectly gracious, honorable, and strong during his concession speech, and it reminded me of the old John McCain. The John McCain who wasn't afraid to stand up for what he believed in, who wasn't afraid to reach across party lines, and who didn't put air quotes around "women's health." That was a guy I could have stood behind. That was a guy who could have helped heal this country after 8 years of such divisive partisanship. I feel badly for how poorly managed his campaign was, and I feel badly that he felt an inexperienced, unpolished, controversial woman could possibly be a good choice as a VP.

There are many other issues that killed my good feeling buzz as well. To quote my future sister in law's Facebook status "remembering the sounds of the campus last night, while people in California wake up to find out they aren't legally married anymore" I'm amazed that we've made so much progress that a black man was voted president, and yet we're still writing hate into the constitution. Not just in California, obviously, but also in Florida and Arizona.

I'm appalled. I'm truly appalled. It gives me a sick feeling in my stomach to think about the hatred and bigotry that's still occurring on a daily basis. I don't see how we could have come so far in civil rights, but are so backwards still. It sickens me that people would vote to take away our right to choose how to express love.

It just proves how far we still have to go. We've made progress, yes. Barack Obama is living proof of that. But until we stop discriminating against each other based on things that are out of our control (for example, the color of our skin or who we love)we can't move forward.

However, I'm hopeful. Hopeful about our future as a nation, hopeful we can come together to make a real change. We have the tools we need. We have a President-elect who's one of the most dynamic, exciting politicians in a long time. I truly hope he lives up to his promise, and I have no doubt he will. After all, Yes We Can.

I've Got A Halloweenhead

I, for one, had an awesome Halloween. How was yours?

Little known fact: I'm only four feet tall.

Halloweenhead - Ryan Adams

We Are All Made Of Stars

Happy Halloween, all. I'd like to go on the record saying I'm jealous of all of you in Orlando.

I've never been much of a dreamer. At least, I don't remember my dreams in the morning. Recently though, I've been having some bizarre dreams.

Some are obvious as to their meaning. Last night I had a dream where a customer at my store starting yelling at me, telling me I didn't know the difference between monk's cloth and broadcloth. I tried to explain that I did know if she would listen. Then she got mad because I said viscose was rayon. Have I mention that I'm taking a textiles class? And not doing so well in it?

Other dreams are harder to interpret. For instance, I was at a library with my boyfriend and he bought a poster from one of the librarians for $1,000. I got mad at him and made him return it, but they were only willing to give us credit towards a school fund raising catalog. So we had to pick out $1,000 in cheeses, sausages, and wrapping paper within a half an hour on a Supermarket Sweep type stage.

What the hell does that mean?

Love Of Mine

Reason #4987 I love my boyfriend:

His bank has a points system (you spend money, get points, turn points into rewards) and he's been saving them for awhile. However, his bank is currently most likely getting bought out by some foreign company (one of the few big ones not being bailed out by the government) so he wanted to spend them in case the new owners got rid of the system.

His decision? A gift card for Morton's, a Starbucks gift card, and a gift card for Sephora.

He could have chosen Best Buy, or something for himself, but he chose two we both would enjoy and one just for me.

He can be really sweet sometimes.

Those People Were Overjoyed

I had kind of an interesting weekend again.

It started off Saturday when we went to the Missouri Botanical Gardens to see the Niki sculpture exibit. It's not my kind of art, but it was interesting to see it at least. It doesn't hurt to learn new things occasionally.

Then we went to a fairly new casino here, Lumiere Place, which neither of us had been to before. For my birthday next month (November 13th, feel free to send presents) we're going to a restaurant there so I wanted a trial run, because last year on my birthday we couldn't find the restaurant we wanted so we drove around for an hour getting really lost. Anyway, I wanted to make sure we could find it, so we went to a place there called Burger Bar and I had my first taste of Kobe beef. It tasted like all other beef I've had.

After that we went to equal rights festival at a local college, which was mostly hippies sitting around singing songs. We then went to the grocery store and bought stuff for a cook out, since it was probably the last weekend we'd have temperatures in the 80s. My boyfriends brother grilled while my boyfriend set up his projector outside again. So we ate yummy food while watching Old School and playing Mario Party under the stars.

The next day, I had to work, but that evening I went out to a couple of bars with my coworkers. I don't get out a lot without my boyfriend, so it was nice to do something different. Especially at the second bar, where there was only a small group of us.

Monday I worked again, but monday night something wonderful happened. I went to my first Death Cab for Cutie concert. They've been one of my favorite bands (and my boyfriend's absolute favorite) for years and years, but we've never been able to go to a concert (mostly because they don't come here often) It was by far one of the best concerts I've ever been to. It was so exciting. I've never seen so many skinny jeans, plaid shirts, and converse in one place before. For those of you who care, this is a part of what they played:

The New Year
Bixby Canyon Bridge
Grapevine Fires
Soul Meets Body
I Will Follow You Into the dark
I Will Possess Your Heart
Marching Bands of Manhattan
Crooked Teeth
Long Division
No Sunlight
The Sound of Settling
Title and Registration
Tiny Vessels

All my favorite songs. They played more, but I can't remember the whole set list. I would have liked to hear A Lack of Color, but I'll live. I was surprised they played Transatlanticism, bands usually don't play their super long songs live, but it's by far my favorite of theirs. It made me cry. My boyfriend would have liked to hear What Sarah Said, but he'll live also. When they played I Will Follow You Into The Dark it was sort of surreal, they turned all the lights off except a single spotlight on Ben and the whole crowd sang along.

Oh yeah, and Fleet Foxes opened for them. If you're not familiar, they're almost like a choir that sings indie rock. They have amazing harmonies, which were even better live.

Transatlanticism - Death Cab For Cutie

Dreaming of Revelry

I try not to talk about music too much here, because I'm constantly excited about something new. Blitzen Trapper, Joshua Radin, Ben Folds, The Stills, Low Vs. Diamond, Okkervil River, Glasvegas, TV On The Radio, and Cold War Kids are just a few of the bands with awesome new stuff I've been into lately. I know I tend to like weird stuff, or at least lesser known bands, so I don't try to spread the indie rock word, because I know it's not for everybody.

However, there is a particular new album out that is SO good. It's Only By The Night by Kings of Leon. You may be familiar with them from the song "Molly's Chambers," which was in a Volkswagen commercial awhile back. This album is so above and beyond that though. If you're a fan of rock music at all, I encourage you to check it out.

The first single off of the album is called Sex On Fire and it's one of the better songs I've heard in a long time. Plus, it's incredibly sexy. For real.

Sex On Fire - Kings Of Leon

I just keep listening to the cd over and over again.

I Got A Notion To Say What Doesn't Feel Right

For the past few years people (especially my former coworkers) have been telling me "Hold off on getting married" They tell me to wait, there's no rush, etc. And I agree. For fuck's sake, I'm 23.

My new coworkers, however, are a different story. A 65 year old who works there part time told me I wasn't getting any younger.

Another told me if he hasn't proposed to me yet, he never would.

A third was shocked that I've been going out with him for five years and we weren't married. My response was that I'm still young, I have plenty of time. She said "You're not that young."

Christ. Why does everyone assume he's the one who doesn't want to get married? It could totally be me. For all they know, he's ready and I'm the one holding things up.

In actuality, it's both of us equally. But still.

People are weird. What's with the trying to convince me to get married?

I Find Something To Do

I haven't done this in awhile, so here goes:

Eagle Eye

Summary via IMDB: Jerry and Rachel are two strangers thrown together by a mysterious phone call from a woman they have never met. Threatening their lives and family, she pushes Jerry and Rachel into a series of increasingly dangerous situations, using the technology of everyday life to track and control their every move.

My take- I feel this movie could have been really good. It had all the pieces it needed, including a super talented cast (Shia LeBeouf, Billy Bob Thornton, Rosario Dawson, Michelle Monaghan) and a superstar producer (Steven Spielberg). I think it started off really strong, with awesome action scenes, interesting characters, and great mystery and intrigue. However, somewhere along the line I feel it fell apart. The "twist" was something I've seen many, many times, and the ending was cheesy.

All and all, it was pretty good though. If you just watch it for the action sequences and acting, it's good. Just don't expect a lot of believability or originality.

Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist

Summary Via IMDB:High school student Nick O'Leary, member of the Queercore band The Jerk Offs, meets college-bound Norah Silverberg and she asks him to be her boyfriend for five minutes.

My take- I thought this movie was really cute. I kind of think Michael Cera is one of those actors who plays himself, but I dig it. Kat Dennings is never anything but awesome and hot. It wasn't a super original plot line, but it was a somewhat believable one. There were plenty of laughs and awkward moments, especially from Norah's drunk friend.

For me, the music alone was enough to make me love it. Bishop Allen, Band of Horses, Modest Mouse, Takka Takka, Rogue Wave, We Are Scientists, Vampire Weekend, and Devendra Banhart were a few of the bands that had songs in the movie. If you're an indie rock fan, this movie is a treasure trove of goodness.

I'm Too Young To Feel This Old

Things that are occupying my time (a.k.a. excuses for not blogging.)

1. My job. We've been really short staffed, so I've been working a solid six days a week. I like my job, I like getting paid, but fuck. It's wearing me out. Standing eight hours a day, nine or ten days in a row takes a lot out of you. On the positive side, I think I'm actually losing weight. I walk around in circles through our huge store over and over, so I guess that's doing it.

2. School. This is a really hard semester for me. I'm taking two classes that I've dropped before because they were too much work for me to do while also working. I'm not an architect. I've never wanted to be an architect. And yet, I have to take an intensive architecture class. It's going okay, I guess, but I spend a good deal of my time working on my floorplan.

3. My boyfriend. We've gone from seeing each other five or six days a week to maybe three if we're lucky. It's a lot harder than I thought it would be, but things should calm down at work soon, and next semester will be way easier.

4. I've suddenly developed a personal life. Today, for example, I went to a wedding shower. I spent all afternoon talking to women I hardly know and playing awkward games, and I actually enjoyed myself. What's up with that? Afterward, I had dinner with my boyfriend, his brother, and his brother's fiance then watched Slacker Uprising. We also hung out with them Saturday night. I worked all day Saturday day, then we had dinner with my boyfriend's family. Then the four of us drove to a mall that's almost an hour away so my boyfriend could get a certain kind of Dr. Pepper (Dublin- It's in a glass bottle and made from sugar cane), then drove across the whole town to get to a certain ice cream place. Then we caught up on the new season of It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia (which is totally funny again.) This is a really busy weekend for me. Usually my weekend involves a rented movie and dinner with my boyfriend.

So what have you been up to? What's been occupying your time?

I'm A Realist

Take a picture of yourself right now. Don’t change your clothes, don’t fix your hair…just take a picture. Post that picture with NO editing. Post these instructions with your picture.

Things I would have fixed were not for this meme:
1. My arm fat roll
2. Cropped so you couldn't see the mess of my nightstand
3. Cropped so you couldn't see my mismatched pj's.

Being Here

This is going to be a two parter.

First up, updating you on my brother. Thanks for all your comments and tweets previously.

He had a second surgery last Wednesday. They cut him open from the top of his rib cage to eight inches below that. He's a lot taller than me, I think my whole torso is eight inches. He's been in a lot of pain, but they released him yesterday and he seems to be doing okay. He's able to walk up and down stairs, he hasn't taken any pain pills since he got home, and he can eat whatever he wants.

It was so bizarre seeing him in the hospital. He was just so out of it. I've never even seen my parents in the hospital, so my brother was especially weird to see.

The surgeon thinks they got the whole tumor this time, so no chemo is necessary. But that could change, God knows.


Round Two: Avitable's Meme

My favorite age: 23... ha. I don't know, anytime between 21 and now

My best friend: Cheesy, but my boyfriend. Beyond that, Josh, and my boyfriend's brother and his fiance

My celebrity crush: Ryan Reynolds, Anderson Cooper, Gavin Rossdale, Kristen Bell, Isla Fisher, Megan Fox

My defining characteristic: Physically? My eyes. Or my boobs. Emotionally? Lordy. I think my sense of acceptingness. That isn't a word, but you get the drift. If we're friends, I don't care what you do, I'll still love you.

My most evil moment: Hmm I don't know. I honestly can't think of anything. I try to live peacefully

My favorite food: Fries, pie (apple, pecan, pumpkin), a really good filet, crab, lobster, asparagus

My grossest injury: My tooth went through my lip during a figure skating accident. It was the one and only time I needed stitches

My biggest hatred: hypocritical people (i.e. My family is off limits unless I'm parading them across the stage for my benefit)

My most illegal activity: speeding and giving alcohol to a minor. I don't commit a lot of crimes. Oh I sold cigarettes to freshman my senior year at a marked up rate.

My need for justice: Is fairly non existent. Pedophiles, rapists, etc obviously.

My most knowledgeable field: Art and design. I know a lot about color palettes and furniture and whatnot. I also know a lot about American History, for whatever reason.

My life's goal: Love and travel as much as possible

My mother's influence: unconditional love, willingness to lend a hand (although these also describe my grandma), concern and compassion for all

My nerdiest point: Huh. I don't know, I'm really cool. We tried to go to a midnight release party for one of the Harry Potters but there were too many people so we didn't stay

My oldest memory: Falling in the gym at my preschool and hitting my head. Also hiding under the table in the hallway at my preschool so I didn't have to go to school (clearly, my habits haven't changed all that much)

My perfect date: exploring something new. seeing a movie. good food and good conversation.

My unanswered question: There's many God related unanswered questions

My random fact: I'm really double jointed

My stupidest decision: Many. I suppose taking time off between colleges.

My favorite television show: Currently on air? Gossip Girl, The Office, How I Met Your Mother, Pushing Daisies, 30 Rock. Of all time? Gilmore Girls and Friends.

My style of underwear: Depends on what I'm wearing. Usually Victoria's secret v-string bikini (for example: and yes, I look just like that when I wear it), but I do wear thongs if necessary (this is a lie, if a thong is needed, I just don't wear underwear. I do own thongs though.)

My favorite vegetable: Asparagus, carrots, broccoli, cauliflower

My weakest trait: I'm impatient and easily irritated

My X-men power: I'd like to be able to heal myself like Wolverine

My strongest yearning: To love and be loved

My moment of Zen: Mine's almost the same as Avitable's: Driving fast at night with the windows down and music blasting. For me, my boyfriend is the one driving, but I'm sitting in the passenger seat. Picture that Volkswagen commercial with Pink Moon.

I'll Just Make The Same Mistake

What do you do when you see a friend making a big mistake? Do you speak up? Or are you just the supportive friend in the aftermath of the mistake?

(I'm going to go on the record saying these are hypotheticals. Ahem.)

Say, for example, if a friend of yours is getting married, but she's only twenty. Her wedding will be the summer between her junior and senior years of college. Clearly, you can't speak up here. You can't say, "You're way too young." You can't say "If he really loves you, he'll still be there in a year, after you graduate from college." You can't do these things because it's her life to live. It's her mistake to make. And who's to say it is a mistake? Maybe you're overly cynical about marriage and commitment. Maybe she really is in love and it will last. So instead, you help her pick out a wedding dress, you proclaim to love the location she's chosen, and you of course agree to be a bridesmaid.

Now (again, hypothetically), what if a different friend was thinking about getting back together with an ex. An ex who cheated on your friend, and left him crushed and even more untrusting. Say that this ex then went on to trash talk him to their friends, blame everything on him, and generally act like a not nice person. This friend of yours tells you about his possible intentions towards his ex. Do you say something here? You don't want to be the jackass that talks badly about the ex, and then they get back together, and all your friend can remember is what horrible things you said about the person they love. Also, who's to say the ex hasn't changed? Maybe she's turned a new leaf. Maybe you're again being over cynical. But you also don't want to see this person make the same mistake twice. After all, it doesn't hurt any less the second time around. So do you say something? Or do you grit your teeth and say good luck?

I second guess everything in my own life, I suck even worse at advising other people how to live theirs. I'm all for giving people space and letting them choose their own path. If it's right, it's right. I'm not going to be the person to talk you out of making a mistake, but I will be the one there afterward, holding your hand. These mistakes we make shape us into who we are.

The moral of the story is, I suck at giving advice.

Walking Contradiction

I'm fairly self sufficient. I can change a tire, rewire a light, etc. On the other hand, I like it when doors are held for me and to be told I'm pretty. Do these ideas oppose each other?

I've been thinking about these things today after a conversation with a coworker. She suggested that I have the guys at the auto repair store install new windshield wipers, which she assured me they'd be happy to do if I played the damsel and batted my eyelashes.

This was appalling to me. I don't understand how in a society like the one we have now, someone could still hold the belief that playing the damsel is still the best way to get something done. A woman was placed in nomination to be the president of our country, and I'm still excepted to bat my eyelashes and play the helpless female to get what I want?

Then I realized the hypocrisy of my disgust. It's not like I've never used my "wiles" to get what I want. I'm not above wearing a low cut shirt and leaning on the bar a certain way to get the attention of a male bartender (or female- whatever gets me the vodka quicker). In 7th grade I didn't do one project in shop by myself. A certain guy was willing to help me out (meaning: do it all) for a smile.

But where do you draw the line? What's right, and what's wrong?

I think for me, I do what I can for myself. I can install my own windshield wipers, but I can't make my own drink at the bar. I won't rely on a man, or anyone, to something for me that I can do for myself.

This is not to say I don't enjoy a bit of chivalry. I do like to have the door held open for me, I like it when a guy buys me a drink.

I think this is what we call a double standard.

Free To Decide

I try not to talk about politics a lot. But everyone's been talking about the very important election, so it's hard to ignore all the buzz and drama.

I've seen dirty politics, I've seen attempts at bribery. I'm shocked at the begging and pleading, and cheap attempts to win votes

One candidate has risen above the others, and is the clear choice for me. He's a man that stands on honor and integrity

He'll also send you a picture of his balls without provocation.

Yes, that's right. For me, Adam Avitable is the best choice for the Hot Male Blogger calender. Go here to vote, and help make history.

Half The Fun Is That I Can't Keep Up

How was your weekend?

Mine was crazy fun. It started early Saturday when we drove up to Springfield, IL (4 hours round trip). We went to the Obama/Biden rally. It meant so many different things to me that it's hard to describe. The sense of community, the feelings of pride in a candidate, just the sheer excitement were almost overwhelming. People were truly moved by what these candidates had to say. In all reality, I was voting for Obama one way or the other, but it was still nice to hear the speeches in person (even if it was one billion degrees outside)

After we made the trek back to St. Louis, we went to a housewarming party for a friend who's in college. We were the oldest people there, which is a great feeling. I know I'm kind of a loser, but I haven't really been to that many college parties. My boyfriend and I spend most of our time watching movies, we don't get out much. So it was interesting to see the dynamics between drunken coeds. Oh, and my boyfriend spent most of the time in my friend's bedroom, fixing her computer. He's a party animal.

Sunday we spend part of the afternoon at my favorite lunch place. It's a meal that drags on for a long time (in a good way!. We split the cheese and sausage platter, then got dessert. We're nothing but healthy.

We spent the rest of the weekend curled up in bed watching Joan of Arcadia and Dexter (season 2). (Which we're no where near done yet). Then we went to the movies and saw The Rocker, which was so-so. It was super predictable and average, but I didn't hate it. I love Rainn Wilson and Teddy Geiger, so it's all good.

What'd you do this weekend?

Growing up, my brother and I were pretty opposite. We still are, but in different ways. He was rambunctious, got in trouble a lot, and my parents had to put him into a ton of different sports so he had an outlet for all that energy.

I was shy, liked nothing more than sitting inside and reading, and my parents put me into ballet so I would have to socialize with other kids.

We switched rolls as we got older. He became quieter, more focused, and less social. I went a bit wild in high school, spent all my time with boys and partying.

Throughout the years, I've been the emotional one, while he stands there stoic. We've had a bad couple of years in my family, from my parents divorce to my grandfather dying.

And now, as I tweeted a bit ago, my 27 year old brother has stomach cancer.

It started around Fourth of July. The day before, he started throwing up blood while at work. They admitted him to the hospital, and kept him several days for observation.

It turned out he had a tumor in his stomach. It had encapsulated, so that was a positive.

Yesterday they operated on him to remove the tumor, and they say they got about 90% of it out. They'll know more in a few days as to what the next course of action is.

But he's doing alright. He's taking it all in stride. I think he's going to be just fine.

Closer to the Point

I've kept this blog to myself. No one I know outside of the blogging community knows about it, and I like it that way. Not because I'm embarrassed, but because if someone I knew was reading it, I'd edit myself too much. I want to be able to talk about my family, or my boyfriend, without risk of hurting their feelings.

However, my boyfriend and I have started a blog. It's mostly going to be rants, to be honest. I haven't talked much about the eccentricities of my boyfriend here, but let's just say he's crazy. He has his own way of looking at things, and his own ideas about the world, and those ideas don't usually match up with how other people think.

I'd like to keep this blog private from him. I want it to be more of a personal blog, where the other one will be more opinions and articles. So, please come and join us at Closer to the Point, but if possible, don't mention this blog.

Treat them as two separate entities from each other.

But please, visit us there. It'll mean the world to him if he knows people are reading his words.

One of These Days

I know I'm a geek, but I'm psyched for school to start again. I was actually a bit disappointed that it starts so late this year (The last week of August). I think it helps that I'm majoring in something I really love, instead of just going to college for the sake of going to college, which was how I started out.

This semester is also freaking me out a bit. I'm taking textiles, which is as boring as it sounds. Actually, probably more boring than it sounds. But I suppose I understand why it's important. The class that has me worried is Architectural Design and Production. It's essentially designing a house over the course of the semester. It should be interesting, but I'm not nearly anal enough to be an architect, so these classes are always killer for me. (And I'm REALLY anal.)

I will soon be the proud owner of this beauty:

It should make for an interesting semester.

On a side, but related, note, a classmate of mine, Rachel, has been nominated for the Glamour Woman of the Year award. She's a three time cancer survivor who was nominated because of all the work she's done with cancer charities and whatnot. You can read more here.
Please go vote for her, it will only take a minute of your time.

Do You Ever Wonder, What Could Happen Under, Under The Umbrella Tree

I've had a couple of awesome reminders of my childhood. First, I was flipping through tv and Reading Rainbow was on PBS. LeVar Burton was still the host. That's nuts. I looked him up on IMDB and he was the host from 1983-2005. 22 years hosting Reading Rainbow. That's amazing. The song still had the same lyrics, but it wasn't the same tune. It's been stuck in my head since then and I'm driving my boyfriend crazy singing it.

Second, DListed posted about Gummi Bears today, including the theme video.

I think if I had to rank them, Gummi Bears would definitely fall in my top 5 tv shows from when I was a kid.

1. Under The Umbrella Tree
2. Kids, Incorporated
3. Gummi Bears
4. Garfield and Friends
5. Rugrats
6. Clarissa Explains It All
7. CatDog
8. Angry Beavers
9. Doug
10 Hey Arnold

Yes, I know I said five, but I thought of 10, so whatever.

What were your favorite shows as a kid?

Put Your Right Hand On My Heart

I had a kind of funny experience Wednesday. It's not quite as funny since you don't know my boyfriend, but let me try to explain. As much as we love each other, we're very different people. He's very buttoned up and introverted. He's quiet, doesn't drink, and prefers nothing more than to sit inside playing video games or watching a movie. I, on the other hand, am more relaxed. I like to go out and see people and experience new things.

One area where we find common ground is music, for the most part. Death Cab, Jason Mraz, The Shins, Sufjan Stevens, Red Hot Chili Peppers, and Snow Patrol are a few of the bands that we both love. However, we also diverge there.

He prefers more pop oriented rock, like Barenaked Ladies, Matchbox 20, Train, etc. I like more classic rock like The Who, and bands from the 90s, like STP, Foo Fighters, etc. I don't mind it getting a little loud, where he certainly does mind. He likes his music to be relaxing. I don't disagree, but I also find music to be invigorating, calming, exciting, and all sorts of other emotions. It means more to me than almost anything.

There's a fairly new band that I absolutely love called the Whigs. They are everything a rock band should be, to me anyway. They have so much energy, so much heart, catchy songs, and they make me happy. Here's an awesome performance of them on David Letterman.

Anyway, they came to town on Wednesday, opening for the Toadies. He's not a huge fan of the Whigs, but he was alright because I told him we could leave during the Toadies (who he had never heard of, including Possum Kingdom.)

So he sat patiently through the Whigs, and the audience was fairly calm during the performance. Then, the Toadies came on, and everyone went crazy. We sat in the bar area, which is normally calm, with people sitting, smoking, and drinking. The people who want to jump around and scream are usually in the pit area.

Not at this concert. Everyone was jumping, yelling, and dancing. We got up to try to leave, but we were pretty much trapped by the wall of loud bodies. While the Toadies were preforming Happyface, my poor Gap wearing, button down shirt/khakis outfitted boyfriend was stuck between tattoo laden, leather wearing big beefy guys.

It was the funniest moment of my life.

His discomfort was oozing, his posture was rigid. We finally got out, but he was not happy. It was good stuff.

I'm pretty sure he'll never trust me to go to a concert of a band he doesn't know again, but it was worth it to see the look on his face as the Toadies and the audience shouted "If I could find the will to kill, well I'd kill you son of a bitch"

This supports his theory that change and the unknown are bad.

I think he'll survive though, and be fine when we see Joshua Radin next week. Joshua's pretty much the opposite style of music, so hopefully this will restore his faith in concerts.

Twenty First Century's Yesterday

My boyfriend's car has been slowly crapping out for a while now, and recently he found out it needed $3000+ worth of work on it. He only had it for five years, but he put more than a 150,000 miles on it through various trips to Colorado, Kansas City, Orlando, plus dozens of trips between St. Louis and Columbia when I went to Mizzou. So we decided it wasn't worth it to fix it up, and went car shopping.

The car he purchased came with six months of free Sirius radio. We've been having fun playing around it with it (All Springsteen, all the time!)

But when it came down to it, all we want to listen to was the 80s station and the 90s station. This is a bad sign, right? Every time I turn it on the top 40 station I only recognize a few of the songs, and that's just because they're on at work. My boyfriend doesn't know any of them. However, we know all the words when INXS is on, so that's something to be proud of.

I feel like my parents, when I was a kid they only listened to the classic rock station. I guess no music is better than what you listened to during your formative years.

Collapse Into Me Tired With Joy

It's interesting how we all express our love in different ways. I hear about guys do big romantic gestures and that's so not something my boyfriend would do. I wouldn't want him to, either. I'm okay with knowing quietly that he loves me. I don't need big, loud expressions of it.

He uses his talents to express this in interesting ways. Although his job is technically in the IT field, he does all sorts of projects for his firm, including making short, informational movies for conferences. He doesn't have the resources there to film a lot of different things, unless it takes place at a law firm. So he does a lot of things with animation, and he's getting pretty good at it.

He makes little movies for me, too. Not super involved things, but he took my favorite animated character (Butters), and had him preform my favorite Snow Patrol song, guitar and all, alongside an animated version of himself while I saw in the audience.

Most recently, he animated a cartoon version of my favorite singer (Jason Mraz) preforming my favorite song (I'm Yours). He took the time to look up the chords and the finger placements on the guitar, so the animated Jason is playing the correct notes.

It may not seem like much, but I know how long it must have taken him to do all this. He did it just to make me happy. That's one of the million reasons that let me know he loves me.

Drift Away

I'm going to combine two memes today, but they have a similar theme, so get over it.

First, a little while ago, everyone had that Wordle thing showing what words they use the most on their blog. I saw a new one going around where you go here, and then here, and get a word huddle about your profile. So here it is.

Do you think I like Jason Mraz?

The second meme also involves music. It's the soundtrack of my life:

Opening credits: Chocolate- Snow Patrol

It’s inspiring and cheerful. Mostly.

Waking up: From the Morning- Nick Drake

Average day: Here It Goes Again- Ok Go

First date: The Fear That You Won’t Fall- Joshua Radin

Falling in Love: You and Both- Jason Mraz

It’s not the most romantic song in the world, but it’s what we were listening to when we fell in love. On the surface it sounds romantic.

Love Scene: I’m Yours- Jason Mraz

What’s not to love?

Fight Scene: When Anger Shows- Editors

Breaking up: No One’s Gonna Love You- Band Of Horses

It’s so sweet and sad

Getting Back Together: I Hear The Bells- Mike Doughty

This is the song that was playing when Logan got drunk and talked to Veronica about how their love is epic. It’s possibly my favorite scene from a tv show, ever.

Secret Love: Hold You In My Arms- Ray LaMontagne

This song doesn’t remind me of anything in particular, but it sounds so sad to me.

Life’s Okay: Flowers In The Window- Travis

Mental Breakdown: Walk In Fire- Doves

Driving: Nothing Better- The Postal Service

Learning A Lesson: Tell Me Something I Don’t Know- The Thrills

Deep Thought: The Weight Of The World- Editors

I don’t know what it is, but this song speaks to me on so many levels. It makes me want to cry. And smile. And close my eyes.

Flashback: The Past And Pending- The Shins

Partying: Four To The Floor- Starsailor

Happy Dance: Are You Gonna Be My Girl- Jet

Regretting: Silence Is Easy- Starsailor

Long Night Alone: Gobbledigook- Sigur Ros

Death Scene: Hallelujah- Rufus Wainwright

Closing Credits: I Will Follow You Into The Dark- Death Cab for Cutie

Dressing Up to Touch All This

There is a phenomenon today that completely confuses me. It's dressing up in character to go see a movie. I'm not making fun of you if this is something you do (well... maybe a little.) I'm really just confused at the reasons behind it.

Are you trying to prove what a fan you are? The fact that you're at that movie at the midnight opening is pretty good proof.

Are you just so excited you don't know how to express it?

I've only see this happen a few times. I wasn't at the movie people were dressed up for, but it's hard not to notice the pointy ears and masks. I think the only movies I've seen people dress up for are Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, and Harry Potter. I've heard there were people dressed up last night for the Dark Knight.

Actually, I have a second question. This one isn't as confusing, but still. Why do you wait for hours to go see a movie at midnight? Several of my friends went last night to see the Dark Knight. It'll still be playing tomorrow, when you don't have to wait in line for hours and no one (hopefully) will be wearing a batsuit?

Is the sense of superiority you have for seeing it 12 hours before everyone else that gratifying?

Some Trust In Faith

I am astounded on a daily basis at how much people trust my opinion, simply because I wear a name tag. People will call the store, ask me which cabinet I prefer, whether I like glass or wood doors, then order it, based on my opinion.

Yes, I have an art and design background. These people don't know this, though. I've only worked there for a few weeks, I could know literally nothing about furniture.

I experienced this to some degree in the optical business. At least there I understood it though. I can see your face and tell you which frames look the best, based on the shape, skin tone, size, etc. I can tell by the way you dress, what you do for a living, which kind of car you drive. All these tell me your style, whether it be trendy or classic.

I can't, however, see your house. I can't see the colors, the other furniture, the height of the ceiling, the amount of natural vs artificial light. I don't know if you like Queen Anne, mid century modern, or French country.

I'm just amazed that people trust my word so implicitly without even coming into the store to see the pieces for themselves.

I guess it's easier just to ask me than to have to make a decision on your own?

A, You're Adorable

I don't know if you guys have seen WALL-E yet (if not, why?). It was really good. However, for me, Presto was awesome. This is my favorite short. I know I mentioned this yesterday, but I just watched it again, and damn. It is too adorable. Poor baby waby schmoopy bunny. I just want to squeeze and squeeze.

Take Me Out

It's been awhile since I've talked about movies, so I thought I'd do a few quickly.

Hancock- I went into this movie with really low expectations because it was constantly reamed by the critics. I was delighted to find it didn't suck. It wasn't the deepest movie in the world, but let's face it. That's not why I see those kind of movies anyway. It's actually really funny (especially the scene at the train tracks), and Will Smith says several bad words and insults people, which sounds particularly funny coming from the Fresh Prince. Also, I love Jason Bateman. Yes, the "twist" was a little dumb, but oh well. The rest of it was still good.

WALL-E- Awesome, as always. It wasn't my favorite Pixar movie, but it was adorable, stunning, and had a strong message. If anything, the message was a little too strong, but that's alright. It was really, really, really good. The short at the beginning was one of my favorites they've ever done.

The Incredible Hulk- It was alright. It was definitely better than the Eric Bana version, but it still wasn't great. I mean, relatively, it was good. But it could have been a LOT better. If you want to see an action movie, find a theater that still has Ironman, or go see Hancock.

I Saw Fireworks From The Freeway

Things I Did This Weekend

(Alternatively titled: How I Gained 10 pounds)

  • Played and beat Guitar Hero Aerosmith
  • Bought a pretty new blue dress
  • Went to a fun cookout that involved beer and badminton
  • Ate a platter of fried food
  • Saw Hancock (yay)
  • Worked at job#1
  • Played Tiger Woods 08 outside under the stars and fireworks
  • Also watched 10,000 B.C. (blech) outside
  • Ate ate my favorite pizza place
  • Visited my brother at the hospital where he'd been for two days before he decided to call anyone in the family to tell them where he was (he's fine, we think. No worries.)
  • Ate kabobs, yucca, and plantains at a Peruvian restaurant
  • Ate ice cream
  • Watched Be Kind, Rewind
  • Worked at job #2
  • Slept

I'm Pushing Through

I'm 3 weeks+ into my new job, and it's going pretty good. In all honesty, this job is easy as hell. It's really basic, at least compared to my old job. This is my first week not working at my old job, and they're already calling me to see if I can fill in next week.

In any spare time I've had from working 60 hours a week, I've been reading while listening to music. Here's a few that I've really liked recently.


Bright Shiny Morning- James Frey: You maybe remember James Frey from his scandal a few years back with A Million Little Pieces and My Friend Leonard being proven not true, making them fiction instead of the advertised memoir. I always thought this was dumb because these books would have been just as good as novels as they were as memoirs. Anyway. This is his new novel. It was pretty awesome. It's vignettes about L.A., some are facts, some are history, most are short chapters about different characters living there, trying to survive.

Shutter Island- Dennis Lehane: This was was recommended by Brad when I asked for recommendations a little while ago. And wow, was it good. I don't want to give anything away because you should read it. Also, Scorsese is making it into a movie with Leonardo DiCaprio and Mark Ruffalo, so hopefully they stick close to the book. If you like thrillers/mysteries at all, I highly recommend it.

Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close- Jonathan Safran Foer: This book is about a misfit, genius kid who tries to figure out what lock a key that belongs to his father matches after his father dies on Sept 11th. He searches all five burroughs with an elderly sidekick. This book is heart wrenching, uplifting, and funny all at once.


Sigur Ros- Með suð í eyrum við spilum endalaust- Sigur Ros is an Icelandic rock band with a dreamy, ethereal sound. I have no idea what they're saying, but it sounds awesome. Or as I read on a myspace blog, "that they might just be the one band sent to earth to save us all."

"Gobbledigook" - Sigur Ros

Mike Doughty- Haughty Melodic- Mike Doughty, the former lead singer of Soul Coughing, has four albums out, and I love all of them, but this one's my favorite. It has I Hear The Bells, which is currently my favorite song. I listen to it over and over. The whole album is really awesome though. I'll probably write more about him later.

You've Seen This Entertainment Through And Through

Avitable came up with this meme after EW released it's top 100 movies of the last 25 years. You put the ones you've seen in bold, and leave the others regular. Avitable also put asterisks next to the ones he liked a lot, but I'm far too lazy for that.

1. Pulp Fiction (1994)
2. The Lord of the Rings trilogy (2001-03)
3. Titanic (1997)
4. Blue Velvet (1986)
5. Toy Story (1995)
6. Saving Private Ryan (1998)
7. Hannah and Her Sisters (1986)
8. The Silence of the Lambs (1991)
9. Die Hard (1988)
10. Moulin Rouge (2001)
11. This Is Spinal Tap (1984)
12. The Matrix (1999)
13. GoodFellas (1990)
14. Crumb (1995)
15. Edward Scissorhands (1990)
16. Boogie Nights (1997)
17. Jerry Maguire (1996)
18. Do the Right Thing (1989)
19. Casino Royale (2006)
20. The Lion King (1994)
21. Schindler's List (1993)
22. Rushmore (1998)
23. Memento (2001)
24. A Room With a View (1986)
25. Shrek (2001)
26. Hoop Dreams (1994)
27. Aliens (1986)
28. Wings of Desire (1988)
29. The Bourne Supremacy (2004)
30. When Harry Met Sally... (1989)
31. Brokeback Mountain (2005)
32. Fight Club (1999)
33. The Breakfast Club (1985)
34. Fargo (1996)
35. The Incredibles (2004)
36. Spider-Man 2 (2004)
37. Pretty Woman (1990)
38. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)
39. The Sixth Sense (1999)
40. Speed (1994)
41. Dazed and Confused (1993)
42. Clueless (1995)
43. Gladiator (2000)
44. The Player (1992)
45. Rain Man (1988)
46. Children of Men (2006)
47. Men in Black (1997)
48. Scarface (1983)
49. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (2000)
50. The Piano (1993)
51. There Will Be Blood (2007)
52. The Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad (1988)
53. The Truman Show (1998)
54. Fatal Attraction (1987)
55. Risky Business (1983)
56. The Lives of Others (2006)
57. There’s Something About Mary (1998)
58. Ghostbusters (1984)
59. L.A. Confidential (1997)
60. Scream (1996)
61. Beverly Hills Cop (1984)
62. sex, lies and videotape (1989)
63. Big (1988)
64. No Country For Old Men (2007)
65. Dirty Dancing (1987)
66. Natural Born Killers (1994)
67. Donnie Brasco (1997)
68. Witness (1985)
69. All About My Mother (1999)
70. Broadcast News (1987)
71. Unforgiven (1992)
72. Thelma & Louise (1991)
73. Office Space (1999)
74. Drugstore Cowboy (1989)
75. Out of Africa (1985)
76. The Departed (2006)
77. Sid and Nancy (1986)
78. Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991)
79. Waiting for Guffman (1996)
80. Michael Clayton (2007)
81. Moonstruck (1987)
82. Lost in Translation (2003)
83. Evil Dead 2: Dead by Dawn (1987)
84. Sideways (2004)
85. The 40 Year-Old Virgin (2005)
86. Y Tu Mamá También (2002)
87. Swingers (1996)
88. Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery (1997)
89. Breaking the Waves (1996)
90. Napoleon Dynamite (2004)
91. Back to the Future (1985)
92. Menace II Society (1993)
93. Ed Wood (1994)
94. Full Metal Jacket (1987)
95. In the Mood for Love (2001)
96. Far From Heaven (2002)
97. Glory (1989)
98. The Talented Mr. Ripley (1999)
99. The Blair Witch Project (1999)
100. South Park: Bigger Longer & Uncut (1999)

I Watch The Sun Go Down

There are no words.
Our thoughts and prayers are with you.

Or Am I Just Coping?

So, I'm halfway through my month of working 6-7 days a week. I know this doesn't sound insane to most of you, but I'm used to working part time, generally three, maybe four days a week. Except for a few Sundays I have off, I'm working every day. That's because technically I gave three weeks notice to my old job, because during my last week, my manager is out of town, and I didn't want to leave them completely stranded. Some days I'm splitting between the two places, opening at one, and closing at the other. Thankfully they're located close to each other.

I've been making the transition better than I thought I would. I'm learning quickly at the new job, although it is a lot different than I'm used to.

My old job was half retail, half medical office work. Sure, on the weekends we'd be really busy and have to haul ass, but most of the time it was fairly slow paced. There were only five of us that work there, including the doctor and my manager.

This new job is quick quick quick all the time. It's a huge store and a huge staff. There's nowhere to sit, so I have to stand eight hours a day. This might not sound that bad, but I'm used to sitting at least half of the day now. I'm assuming I'll get used to it, right?

This calls for shoe shopping, because all my shoes are apparently really uncomfortable.

The Hardest Part Was Letting Go

So, today I started my new job today. Oops, did I forget to mention I got the job? Well, I did. Although most of you were only willing to hire to me to do dirty things, some one trusted me.
I had to sign a confidentiality agreement, so I guess that means no blogging about it. I don't want to be Karled, so I guess I'll honor it.

This was a lot harder for me than I thought it would be. I may not have loved my old job, which, hey, I guess I can talk about now. I work(ed) for one of the biggest optical chains in the country, mostly selling glasses but also assisting the doctor. I haven't technically quit yet, although I need to do so tomorrow.

Anyway, I may not have loved it, but I was good at it. I worked there for four years, and I knew all the ins and outs. There are parts of my job (mostly the computer aspects) that other people don't even know how to do. I'm in demand, and other offices often want me to go fill in there, especially when they have new employees so I can help set the standard.

Now I'm the new kid, and I have no idea what I'm doing. At least I know the basics of home design. I can tell the difference between Queen Anne, Mission, and french country. I also know the basics of retail sales and P.O.S. systems, so that helps too.

But still. I don't know anyone's name. I don't know where anything goes. I don't know the answers to any questions. I don't know what other colors that comes in. I don't know how long it will take to ship to you.

But I'll learn. It's just a hard transition for me to make.

More Bacon Than The Pan Can Handle

No, the title has nothing to do with the post. Don't get excited. I just like the song.

I'm a copier, what can I say. Also, I'm really lazy. I've seen this all over, but I believe the first time was at Karl's.

The concept:
1. Type your answer to each of the questions below into Flickr Search.
2. Using only the first page of results, pick one image.
3. Copy and paste each of the URLs for the images into Big Huge Lab’s Mosaic Maker to create a mosaic of the picture answers.

The questions:
1. What is your first name?
2. What is your favorite food? right now?
3. What high school did you go to?
4. What is your favorite color?
5. Who is your celebrity crush?
6. What is your favorite drink?
7. What is your dream vacation?
8. What is your favorite dessert?
9. What do you want to be when you grow up?
10. What do you love most in life?
11. What is one word that describes you?
12. What is your flickr name?

So Much Work

I had a job interview at a home decorating store today. It's owned by a larger, well known home improvement chain, so their hiring standards where in line with the parent company's.

I first had to take an online test before I could qualify for the the interview. Those are easy enough, just don't say you lose your temper easily, or steal when you feel angry at the company. (Although, I'm angry at my company, so I stole all the Twix out of the mixed candy bag. Don't tell.)

So I received the call for the interview a few days ago, and scheduled the interview for today.

The interview itself went fine, with the usual questions. The job honestly sounds great. It'd be similar pay to what I make now, but it a much more related field to what I'm going to school for. They sounds fairly relaxed, especially compared to my current employer.

Then I had to take an IQ test. I'm not super worried about it, because I consider myself to be moderately intelligent. It was timed however, which is a little weird to me. I've never been on an interview where you have to take a timed IQ test. You had to answer 50 questions in 12 minutes. They said no one ever finished it. I came pretty close, but no.

So I guess I'll know in a few days.

Would you hire this person to sell chaise lounges and throw pillows?

The Weight Of The World

It’s funny to me how variable our opinions on weight can be. Fat, skinny. Chunky, thin. It’s all relative.

I, like most people, have put on a little weight over the last few years since I’ve been out of high school. Not an exceptional lot, it’s less than ten pounds. However, I hate the way it sits on me. It’s all in my hips and thighs. I have a small frame, so the extra weight is really evident on me. I’ve also gained a size (or two, depending on the brand). I was a four or a six, now I wear up to an eight.

Trust me when I say I worry about this weight a lot. Obsess, possibly. I work out and eat (mostly) healthy, but the weight is stubborn. At this point, I’m really just hoping to maintain more so than lose.

On Saturday, my boyfriend, his brother, and his brother’s fiancé were discussing weight. My boyfriend’s brother said he’d be happy if he just lost his gut. His fiancé said she’d be happy if she were “Amanda-sized”.

This blew my mind.

Here I am, constantly looking down on myself, beating myself up for weighting more than 130 pounds, while someone else is envying me. I knew she had put on a few pounds, but it turns out she weighs closer to 180. I honestly would have thought we weighed about the same. That’s how distorted my perception of myself is. There’s a 45 pound difference between us, but I still thought we were the same size. That’s kind of fucked up.

But what can I do? How can I make myself see myself more clearly? I can't stop seeing the chubby thighs and the way my stomach rolls a bit when I sit down. I know in my head that 135 pounds isn't huge. I know that a size eight isn't gigantic. I see other size eights and think they look fine, healthy even. I can't feel the same way about myself.

Where I Fall

I was at work on Saturday and a patient came in and was clearly flirting with me. People flirt with us fairly regularly at our office, but I guess that's normal. However, I've only been asked out a few times while at the job. At this job anyway, people would ask me out all the time at Blockbuster. They were probably trying to get to my free rentals.

So anyway, this guy was clearly flirting with me. Before he left, he took the plunge.

HIM: Let me ask you a question.
ME: Alright... (I'm beginning to get suspicious here)
HIM: Do you like food?
ME: Um... yes. (Definitely suspicious)
HIM: Do you maybe want to get something to eat with me? Or do you have a boyfriend?
ME: I have a boyfriend.
HIM: That hurts.

This was odd to me. I haven't heard a pick up line like that since I was in high school. I wasn't totally aware adults used pick up lines, especially cheesy ones like that. I guess I haven't spent a lot of time at bars and places, since I've been in a relationship since I was 15. Not with the same guy, obviously, but I've jumped from one relationship to the next. I've only been single for about three weeks since I was a sophomore.

What are your feelings on pick up lines?

Would you ask out someone at your doctor's office the first time you met them? Wouldn't you be embarrassed to go back to the doctor after she turns you down?

But That Was When I Ruled The World

First, Happy Memorial Day.

So, one of the bands I like is Coldplay. They have an awful reputation and I don't know why. I've been listening to them ever since Yellow came out in 99. Yes, Chris Martin is a bit whiny, but I don't mind falsetto. Anyhoo, I've heard two of the songs off of their upcoming album, Violet Hill and Viva La Vida, and both sound awesome. It's a little more "rock" than Coldplay usually does, but I like it.

I like this commercial a lot, it features Viva La Vida and it looks cool. I don't pretend to understand technology, so to me, it's just pretty to look at.

This Magic Moment

For our five year anniversary, we went to a little restaurant called Niche. We had a relatively low key dinner and evening. We started with a cheese plate with some cheese I had never heard of, but resembled brie. Then I had the lamb chops with some sort of fava bean salad and some wilted greens. I never know what any of this food is. The main attraction for me was our dessert. It was a S'more Semifreddo, with homemade marshmallows, chocolate, and graham crackers. Yum.

Mostly I just wanted to show you what my boyfriend got me for our anniversary. Yes, that's right, just what every girl wants on her fifth anniversary. A box of zebra cakes and a 40 Year Old Virgin card. It said Happy Birthday, but he scratched birthday out and wrote in Anniversary. It even says "Kelly Clarkson!" when you open it, along with other waxing related quotes. He's just so romantic, you know? Okay, you can stop being jealous now.

(*To be fair, the Radiohead tickets were also my present)

The Magic That Was You And Me

In the fall of 2002, a new manager was transferred to my store. In all honesty, we thought he was gay at first. Then we met his fiance, so we changed our minds. Months went by and this person became my favorite manager. He was funny and smart, and always gave me a break when I didn't want to do something. We became good friends as time went on, and eventually. starting developing feelings for each other.

However, he was engaged, and I had a boyfriend of two years (which is a long time in high school). First my boyfriend and I broke up, and I realized just how much I liked my manager. Then my manager broke up with his fiance, and it was inevitable.

When he asked me out, it was quite romantic. I believe it went something like this:

HIM: I'm not doing anything tomorrow if you want to see the Matrix Reloaded.
ME: Um, sure.

See? Romantic.

So he picked me up one afternoon during the last week of my senior year of high school, and we saw the Matrix. After the movie, we were in my driveway, and I said:

ME: I have to go, American Idol is on.
HIM: Um, okay.

In my defense, it was the finale (Ruben and Clay, specifically).

Thankfully we went out again the next day to see a movie with mutual friends of ours, and I actually invited him in to see the second half of Idol. That's the only time he's ever seen it, he refuses to watch it with me.

And we've been together ever since. Five years is a really freaking long time.

Happy Anniversary, baby.

I Can't Help The Feeling

I just wanted to share a video from the concert I went to on Wednesday. This is sadly not my video, as I was much, much further away.

What Is Love?

I need you to help me out today.

I've made no secret or apology of the fact that I'm Liberal. However, I can usually understand both sides of any argument. While I'm in favor of stronger gun control, I understand wanting to uphold the second amendment. I wish for a prompt withdrawal plan, but I understand why "staying the course" is the option for some people.

There's one thing I can't wrap my head around, though. Why on earth would anyone want to begrudge two people who are in love the right to get married? I truly don't get it, so please help explain it to me. And please don't give me the whole "Gays are going to hell!" bullshit, because the bible also says not to wear blended fabrics, and I'm guessing your shirt is a cotton blend. Unless it's polyester, then I'd like to compliment you on your style.

Love is love, and I don't see how gender could in anyway make love less justified or real.

Granted, I'm not someone who necessarily believes in marriage, so maybe that's why I don't get it? I don't think I need a piece of paper to validate my relationship. If you want to get married, then that's awesome. Good for you. Truly. But why shouldn't this right be upheld to all people?

My Fake Plastic Love

I went to the Radiohead concert last night, and it was as awesome as I had hoped. I mean, come on, it's Radiohead.

I have literally never seen that many people in one place, so it was super crowded. I have also never seen that much tie dye, dread locks, and Birkenstocks in one place.

The funniest moment of the night was when my boyfriend asked me what that smell was, and I realized just how different our adolescences had been if he didn't even recognize the smell of pot.

The highlight of the evening was "Fake Plastic Trees" for me, because that's probably my favorite Radiohead song.

My only point of contention is that the venue is a large amphitheater. There is limited seating under a roof, but most people are in the lawn seats. There are huge screens on the roof so the people in the lawn can see the stage. Last night, however, the message printed on the screen was "Per the artists request, the screens will not be on tonight." I've never been to a concert there where they didn't have the screens on. It kind of sucked because you can't see the stage at all from the lawn.

So I got to listen to a great concert, but not see it.

You're All I Need

Tonight I'm going to see Radiohead in concert, for the first time. I cannot begin to tell you how excited I am. Truly.

I'm too excited to write anything today. Plus, I have to work and Wednesday is normally my day off.

So instead I'm going to pimp myself out to you.

I had been avoiding this, but I finally signed up for Facebook. I actually had one awhile ago, but I hadn't been on it in a long time, and I didn't know what the login information was, so I guess the account was deactivated. So add me, if you're on there. Please.

Also I've been on for a long time, but still only have two friends. This is the story of my life. So again, if you're already on there, please be my friend.

I'm starting to realize how sad I sound, so I'll stop.

Have a great Wednesday, I'm going to go listen to In Rainbows again.

Listen To The Music Of The Moment, People Dance And Sing

I know I said I was going to try to do musical themed Mondays, but two of my very favorite artists released albums today.

1. Jason Mraz- We Sing, We Dance, We Steal Things

I know Jason's not for everyone, and I get that. But he's practically the soundtrack to my relationship with my boyfriend. We've seen him in concert lots of times. His music, to me, is total relaxation. He's such a free spirit, and that really translates into his music.

This song, I'm Yours, was a longtime favorite of mine, and many Mraz fans. It was a demo that hadn't yet made it onto a studio album until now.

2. Death Cab For Cutie- Narrow Stairs

This has been one of my favorite bands for years and years, and I think they've gotten a bad rap. Yes, they're indie and mildly emo. But they're also unique and creative, and have a sound all their own. Ignore the fact that they were OC favorites. Just because they've caught a little bit of popularity doesn't make them bad.

Their first single, I Will Possess Your Heart, is an ambitious 8 minutes 30 seconds long. The first four minutes is an instrumental introduction. It's creepy and stalkerish, in a great way.

Tell Me Something I Don't Know

I believe that I reached a new level of anal retentiveness today. Which, trust me, is saying a lot.

I love making lists, as I believe I've mentioned before.

I also love to read, and go to the library fairly regularly. However, I never know what to get, so I always grab a few random books. Sometimes this turns out well, but sometimes the books are complete crap. I tend to get generic thrillers and memoirs.

So while I was stuck at work Sunday, alone all day, I started browsing books at Amazon, going through people's Listmania lists of favorite books. Some of the lists were bizarre, such as "Soul Nourishment- Contemporary Women Farmers and Ranchers Memoirs" . Some didn't much relate to me, such as "Recommended Reading for Gay/Bi Men of Color"

But still, I searched list after list, stopping to read reviews and summaries. I wrote down the books I wanted to read, and after hours (and I mean literally hours) of browsing, I had more than three pages worth of books. So now I have more than enough books to look for at the library, and they range from memoirs to science fiction to classics to non-fiction and history. I typically read 2-3 books a week, but I'm not taking any classes this summer, so I should be able to squeeze in a few more.

I want to add to the list, with your recommendations. What do you like to read? Who are your favorite authors? I promise to at least attempt to read all the books you all comment on here. So come on, what should I read?

I Watched You Change

I took the day off so I could study for my final tomorrow. Instead, I watched tv and played around on the internet. Oh, and I cut my hair.

I'm not exactly a stranger to haircutting. I've cut my boyfriend's hair lots of times, and when I had bangs I trimmed them myself.

However, I've never cut my own hair full scale. I love my hair long, but my boyfriend prefers it shorter. This doesn't really bother me, but it's getting hotter out and my hair feels like a blanket on my neck, so I figured it was time to cut it.

(please excuse the poor bathroom lighting, the lack of make-up, and my lack of photoshop skills so I couldn't touch these up.)

Here's how it started:

Here's the halfway point where I started to doubt what I was doing. Can you see the grimace on my face? Yeah. I'm seriously regretting this.

And the final product, after I took a shower and flat ironed my hair. Still no make-up though. It's not uneven, my head is tilted. Sad face.

Thankfully my hair grows back quickly.
P.S.- I do own shirts that aren't old concert tees.

Prolonging the Situation Only Makes It Worse

I've been struggling to think of things to write here. I've tried to think about things that go on in my life, because I know I don't talk about that much. But really, my only hobby is movies. I know that's sad, but that's really all we do. We go to the theater and we rent movies. I already talk about that, so that's a bust.

Then I realized I do love something as equally as I love movies. Music.

So on Mondays (probably) I'll talk about something music related. It may be a list, it may be a specific song or band, or it may just be music news. Who knows?

The idea for the first installment came to me as Josh and I were texting about how awesome Radiohead is (yes, this is what we text about.)

Here's my top 10 songs from the 90's from bands that I still listen to:

1.Creep- Radiohead
2.Glycerine- Bush
3.Don’t Look Back In Anger- Oasis
4.Buddy Holly- Weezer
5.Learn to Fly- Foo Fighters- (This came out November 99, it counts)
6.Into Your Arms- The Lemonheads
7.Vasoline- Stone Temple Pilots
8.Basketcase- Greenday
9.What’s The Frequency Kenneth- REM
10.My Friend- Red Hot Chili Peppers

And the top 10 of songs I love but I don't listen to the bands anymore:

1.Jeremy- Pearl Jam
2.Inside Out- Eve 6
3.Save Tonight- Eagle Eye Cherry
4.Popular- Nada Surf
5.Black Gold- Soul Asylum
6.Adam’s Song- Blink 182
7.Closer- Nine Inch Nails
8.Come Out And Play- The Offspring
9.Wrong Way- Sublime
10.Smells Like Teen Spirit- Nirvana

These weren't in any order. Do you think I liked rock in the 90s?

What are your favorite 90s songs?

I Don't Want To Fake It

Lots and Lots of movies: (all summaries via IMDB)

Meet Bill

Summary:A guy fed up with his job and married to a cheating wife reluctantly mentors a rebellious teen

This was filmed in my hometown, about 1/4 of a mile from my boyfriend's office building, and he got to go on set for a while. So, needless to say, he was pretty excited to see this. I thought it was good. It wasn't super exciting or heartwarming, but it was funny and smart. The humor in it was for adults, without being crass. It didn't go for gross out humor, which is becoming rarer and rarer, so it's nice to see a smart comedy.

Run Fat Boy Run

: Five years after jilting his pregnant fiancée on their wedding day, out-of-shape Dennis decides to run a marathon to win her back.

I should preface this by saying I love Simon Pegg. He was in two of the funniest, smartest comedies of our time. I thought the movie was pretty good. It was really predictable and safe, but that didn't keep it from being good. It was just obvious. But it still had loads of funny parts, and it was fun to watch.

Smart People

Summary: Into the life of a widowed professor comes a new love and an unexpected visit from his adopted brother.

This was not my favorite movie. It was well acted and everything, but it was so unbelievably pretentious. The characters were mostly all assholes, and I have trouble believe Sarah Jessica Parker's character would have liked Dennis Quaid's. He was a complete jerk the whole time. I don't know, this just wasn't the movie for me.

Forgetting Sarah Marshall:

Summary: Devastated Peter takes a Hawaii vacation in order to deal with recent break-up with his TV star girlfriend, Sarah. Little does he know Sarah's traveling to the same resort as her ex ... and she's bringing along her new boyfriend.

Okay, realistically, I was going to be biased towards this movie. For one, Kristen Bell is amazing. Two, Jason Segel is one of my favorite actors (Freaks and Geeks, Undeclared, Knocked Up, How I Met Your Mother) and the fact that he wrote this is awesome (and the penis shots certainly didn't hurt). To me, this movie was fabulous. It was the perfect mixture of crude and romantic comedies. Hot cast, hilarious dialogue. All and all, awesome.