I'm awesome at avoidance. Or, more precisely, "out of sight, out of mind" is an accurate cliche on my part.

Why do I do it? I wish I knew.

I need to stop, though. It's getting out of hand. I never deal with things. I ignore as much as I can, then quickly forget about it. Or I reason it away, telling myself it's not that big of a deal.

But sometimes? It is a big deal. Sometimes it hurts. At some point, I need to be able to stand up for myself. Let my opinion be known. Deal with issues head on.

Instead, I give myself time to calm down. If I have an disagreement with someone, I try to get out of it as soon as possible, then I sleep on it. The next day, the anger's gone. Which can be a good thing, I understand. I don't hold grudges, I don't often get irrationally angry.

I'm continually surprised and hurt when people don't take their second chances seriously. My guess is that they know I'll give them a third, fourth, and fifth chance. What's the line between not holding grudges and making the same mistakes? I don't know. I'm pretty sure I just let people walk all over me, though, because I'd rather ignore and forget than be confrontational.

How much of yourself do you lose when you let yourself be perpetually ignored?

Last night my boyfriend took me to see An Evening With David Sedaris. He first heard about it because NPR was having some sort of listener presale, and he knows how much of a fan I am.

I should point out that although this is an awesome gesture, it wasn't done for fully selfless reasons. Every time I read a David Sedaris book, I go on and on about how much he would like it, and he's not much of a reader. So his getting the tickets was his way of getting out of having to actually *gasp* read a book.

I wasn't sure what to expect, because I'd never been to an event like this before. Sure, I've seen authors speak, but not at such a large scale. It was held at the symphony hall, which seats quite a few people.

The first thing that happened was David was sitting right by the door signing books, so he was the first person I saw. I didn't get a book signed because the line wrapped around the lobby twice, and I was more intrigued by the line at the bar (and the booth that sold cake). But, I was less than ten feet away from one of my favorite authors, so that's cool.

The show was really funny. As I said, I wasn't sure what to expect, but basically he just told stories. It was like seeing a really, really intelligent comedian. If you're familiar with his work, you know how funny he is, but it's even funnier hearing his delivery. It wasn't stuff from the books either, it was new material.

At the end he opened it up for questions, and he was just as humorous and charming in his spontaneous answers as he was in his rehearsed stories.

If you get a chance to see him talk, I highly recommend it. And if you haven't read any of his works, you should really check him out. He's by far my favorite memoirist (you know, from the giant pool of successful memoirists I have to choose from).

Also, how great is it that a giant place like the Powell Symphony Hall sells out for an author? I'm glad people are willing to miss American Idol and Lost for one night (or tivo them) to go experience a great event like this.

I don't want to be one of those girls that bitches about their boyfriend publicly, but he really made me angry yesterday.

Long story short(ish), his parents are talking about moving to the country, and they'd sell him their house for a very, very reasonable price. His parents have talked about moving to the country multiple times with nothing happening, so I'm not holding my breath.

He didn't mention anything about me moving in with him, which is okay. Honestly, I don't really want to. He needs some time to live on his own and learn to be independent. I'm worried if we lived together, he'd just depend on me to do everything for him, and I don't have the time or the patience to take care of both of us. I have enough trouble taking care of myself. He needs to figure out how to do his own laundry and clean his own bathroom before we can co-exist peacefully.

But anyway, yesterday we were talking about what his budget would be. He said he's not sure if he would be able to afford it, unless I wanted to move in and pay for part of it.

Excuse me?

Is that the way you approach asking your girlfriend to move in with you? And admit that the only reason you're asking is because you need her money? (Which, let's face it. I work part time retail. What money?)

Then when I got mad, he said he hadn't asked because he didn't think I'd want to move in with him.

When I told him I didn't want to live with him, he got offended. I explained my reasons to him, which he totally understood, because even he knows he's irresponsible.

Maybe we can live together after we've dated for seven or eight years, we're clearly not ready after six.

We went on our annual (or monthly, depending on how things are going) trek to Kansas City for steak.

It started Friday, and it was lovely. We went to their beautiful Zoo on a pretty day, we had dinner at a restaurant we used to have here that closed, then we went to their new Power and Light district and caught a concert from some dude I've never heard of.

It was a gorgeous night, they had the heat lamps on, so it was great catching a concert outdoors and drinking cheap beer. My boyfriend never wants to do things like that here, so it's nice to get out sometimes.

It all started falling apart Friday night/Saturday morning when I literally got no sleep. And not because I was up late doing something fun (in a hotel) but because I am the world's worst sleeper. The people next to us had their TV on (not loud, I'm just sensitive), the air conditioner was loud, cars were driving by, etc. When the sun came up I got out of bed and just read until my boyfriend woke up.

We drove 45 minutes outside of KC to an old asylum that now houses a psychiatric museum. It was all about psychiatric treatments pre-modern medicine. So, it was kind of creepy anyway.

There was a group of people there that were all a little off. I don't know specifically what was different about them. One I think was autistic, but that's not really the point.

An older lady from the group started following us around, which was a little weird, but whatever. She said hi to us, asked us how we were. We politely answered, then quickly walked away. She kept following us around.

Finally she came up to me and said "I have angels that talk to me and keep me safe"

I said "Oh, that's nice"

Crazy Lady- "They're telling me you need to get an MRI"

Me- "um... okay...."

Crazy Lady- "Or a mammogram"

Me- "I.. Um.. yeah..." (I just went to the gyno, I'm comfortable with my breast health)

Crazy Lady- "Do you have a mole by your left breast?"

Me- "No..."

Crazy Lady- (VERY loudly and angrily) "Oh, well I guess the angels are wrong then, huh?"

Mike starts pushing me out of the room.

She kept yelling after me about how I need to listen to her or I would die.

I made Mike leave then, so we didn't see most of the museum.

It was the goddamn creepiest thing I had ever heard. I'm glad I don't have a mole near my left breast, or I probably would be at the hospital right now undergoing a battery of preventative tests. I'm pretty sure my insurance wouldn't cover those tests, considering my only reason for needing them was because the lady at the asylum told me I need them.

I was pretty shaken up we left, considering the lack of sleep and the already creepy environment. We stopped to get gas before heading back to KC, and a guy in overalls and a Tweety hat (with the bill turned up) was yelling at everyone who walked past about how Barack Obama wasn't really a Christian and he was, in fact, a free mason. We stopped to listen to him for a few minutes.

The moral of the story, is St. Joseph, Missouri is a crazy ass place with crazy ass people in it. Seriously, stay away.

The rest of the day was more pleasant, we went to the Nelson-Atkins Museum and the Kemper Contemporary Art Museum, followed by dinner at Houston's.

This is where we made a logistical error, as it's not super comfortable to drive four hours after eating a steak and loaded baked potato dinner.

You live, you learn, you repeat it again in six months.

So, I don't tend to get controversial here. I'm a fairly neutral person, and I try to let people live the way they want to live without passing judgment.

But people on Twitter are really starting to aggravate me

I know social media is what you make of it. I always have the option to unfollow people on Twitter (and trust me, I have been recently). But some people are totally rad like 80% of the time. I don't want to unfollow them, but more and more I've been tempted.

Maybe I'm just over Twitter.

The Top Five Irritating Things You're Doing On Twitter (yes, you.)

5. Multiple blog post announcements- This one doesn’t really bother me that much, but I’ve seen other people complain. I I follow you on Twitter, I probably already have your blog in my feed reader, so one announcement on Twitter is more than enough. But when you have the feed being announced from four different sources, it’s pretty superfluous. Maybe you could scale back?

4. Hashtags- Okay, they’re not all bad. Some can be helpful; some are downright funny (like Michael Ian Black’s #fuckitlist.) But it’s completely unnecessary to put a hashtag after every tweet you have. And kinda douchey. Not everything you say needs to be indexed.

3. Blip.fm- This is the newest irritant. I don’t mind the sporadic “Rocking out to Taco- Putting on the Ritz” tweet, but you can listen to a lot of music during the day. We don’t need to know every song you listen to. In fact, that’s what Last.fm is for. People can go on their own accord to see what you’ve been listening to, without it being crammed down their throat.

2. Live tweeting television shows- Sure, it’s one thing if there’s something big going on, like a political debate. I’ll even allow for award shows, even though it’s still irritating. But we do not need to know your every thought, feeling, and reaction to what Simon said to that contestant every Tuesday and Wednesday, and then your reaction to the bachelor and to who Donald fires. Its fine to have the occasional “Wow, BSG was frakking amazing tonight” or “Man, Sheldon just doesn’t understand social customs. Poor Leonard, it must be rough being his roommate. ” comment, but seriously. Please stop. If people care that much about American Idol, they’ll watch it and have their own opinions.

1. Twitter parties- This is by far the most obnoxious, irritating thing I’ve seen yet. Good lord. Seriously, get a fucking chat room. It is really galling to completely flood and overwhelm Twitter for your own intents and purposes. Twitter is for everyone, not just for you.


What irritates you on Twitter?

I thought I was prepared. I knew Watchmen was going to be long. I knew it was going to be dark, and serious, and all that. I knew there was going to be lots of blue penis.

I should point out, I haven't read the graphic novel. Or any graphic novel. And I'm not usually a fan of the superhero movie, unless it's really good. Or Funny. (like The Dark Knight, or Iron Man)

It definitely had it's good parts, it was beautifully shot, well acted, dark and moody, and all that good stuff.

But this movie was ridiculously, unbearably long. I thought it was going to be okay, because I kept reading reviews on how awesome it was. And I think it could have been a really good movie if someone would LEARN HOW TO EDIT.

It was unnecessarily long. I guess the point was to keep it as true to the novel as possible, but the thing is? With a novel? You can put it down and walk away, and unfortunately you cannot do the same in the movie theater. I mean, yeah, you can walk out, but I would have been waiting alone while Mike finished watching it.

I want those three hours of my life back.

Do you ever feel like the world is crashing down on your head? And you try to push through the rubble to find a bit of sunlight and air, but when you do push through you find there's just more rubble and darkness?

I try to be a positive person. I try to look at the bright side. I enjoy lightness and humor. I try to help when I can, and even when I can't.

But goddamn, what a sucktastic few days.

It started early Saturday upon hearing of Lisa's passing. One of the reasons I felt connected to Lisa was because of our shared mantra, it is what it is. I've always tried to live by that standard, as a way of not over reacting, of accepting life and all it's quirks and complexities. I keep it close to me and repeat it as necessary throughout the day.

Then a good friend was in a car accident and is still hospitalized with a punctured lung and lots of broken bones.

Then my boyfriend dropped a bombshell on me on Sunday that I cannot even begin to fathom and absorb, that I'm nowhere near being able to discuss, or even comprehend. I don't know what it's ramifications and implications will be, but my guess is that they will not be positive (and no, he didn't cheat on me)

Soon after that, we found out his grandma has intestinal cancer. It's still early, so we don't know details or the prognosis or anything.

Then I found out a good friend was dumped by her boyfriend when she told him she was pregnant. Upstanding fellow, yes?

So what do I do? I try to push on. I missed class Monday morning, because putting on clothes seemed like an awful lot of work. I spent all day cleaning and moving furniture, because that's better than thinking, and sulking, and processing.

But I don't work again until Thursday (Thank you, economy) so I have a lot of free time to sit around, and only so much furniture to be moved.

So what do I do tomorrow?