I Thought I Knew You, What Did I Know?

One of the coolest, most bad-ass bloggers bestowed an interview on me. That's right, kiddies, Mr. Fabulous of Pointless Drivel fame (infamy?) provided me with these in depth questions, so you can see the real me. Not all of me, of course, because then I would be naked. Thanks Mr. Fab!

1. You started your blog very recently. Obviously it is the first step of your fourteen point plan to get me to notice you, woo you, and marry you. Do think that's a wise move given the vast difference in our ages?

How did you know? Am I that transparent? I thought I was hiding my feelings much better than that. Love can overcome age. One day, we will be together. Well, what am I supposed to do? You won't answer my calls, you change your number. I mean, I'm not gonna be ignored, Dan. I mean, Fab.

2. You are an art student. Is that the career with the lowest salary structure you could think of? Were the classes on migrant farm working all full up?

I considered migrant farm working, but I don't like dirt. And I don't speak Spanish. And I could break a nail.

3. Those bands you list in your profile as your favorites, are they even really bands? I never heard of them. What is wrong with you damn kids today? You should be listening to The Clash or Bruce Springsteen.

I don't think either has been popular since I've been alive. Well, maybe Springsteen. But only when I was a small child.

4. As a young person, just how much crack DO you smoke in a given week, and where do you get the money for it?

I work the streets. A girl has to have her crack, and selling myself is the easiest, most effective way. I don't take cash as a payment, just crack. And paraphernalia.

5. How much would you charge to paint a nude portrait of me, and would it cost extra to have a few inches tacked on to my johnson?

I would paint a nude portrait of you for absolutely free. And as the artist, I can use creative licensing, so adding a few inches shouldn't be a problem. How many do you need? 2? 6?


Avitable said...

Very nice answers. And who exactly is the most bad-ass blogger out there?

Not a Granny said...

Don't let the smooth and suave exterior of Mr. Fabulous sway you...(he killed Gumby and Pokey!!)

Welcome to blogging!!

Amanda said...

Avitable: That would be you, of course. Dolphin porn is very bad-ass

Not A Granny: Yes, but he poops blue, which is super suave. And thank you

Mr. Fabulous said...

Jesus Christ, is Avitable stalking me?

Sarcastica said...

Uhoh I think you sparked some jealousy in Avi there, he likes being called a bad ass blogger - really though, he's just a fat ass blogger, just kidding Avi!

Loved the answers, very witty, although I personally think you'd have to paint an extra 10 inches on.. ;)

Amanda said...

Mr. Fab- I'm pretty sure he is stalking you... I thought you were okay with that

Sarcastica- I was trying to be diplomatic. Men don't like hearing they need an extra ten inches